Ross is a rugged, out-doorsy type with a thirst for the unknown and a light, snacky hunger for the known. He enjoys various things and doesn't enjoy their opposites. If you asked him how much time he would give up off the end of his life for one night of sex with Lisa Kudrow he would answer, in a solemn manner, "None, ma'am, none time." Ross was born with trisomy of the 21st chromosome, or down syndrome. But he kicked it at age 12 when he became a scientologist. When he was 20, he had a brief lapse of faith and went retarded again. It was none other than John Travolta who steered him back on the right path.
When I first met Ross, he had just woken up.
He is over 26 years in length and has visited over 20 places. And, after every one of his visits, he returned alive. After his, literally, almost dozens of travels, he has experienced diarrhea, literally, hundreds of times. He refers to it as the "standard travel brown" or "out of town soup". That will never stop him, though. "A meal is not a meal unless it is a laxative," I've heard him say on many occasions.
He has been referred to as abrasive, brilliant, brunette, of medium height and weight, a "grower, not a show-er", thin, sunburnt, hungry, clothed, naked, an artist (probably), chubby, a complete piece of shit, an asshole, a robot (because robots don't have feelings) and of unmatched tennis skills.
Don't be intimidated. Next time you see him, touch him on the elbow. Remember, though, if you can't see his mirrors, he can't see you.
