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Hey there,
my name is Dominique,
or Domo,
Dom Dom,
Dom,
Ollo,
Nique,
whatever....
Newbieandalwayswillbe,
newbienalwayswillbe,
Teh Newbstress.....
But yeah
I have a very strange style, but I don't really need to tell you this for you to figure this out. I make friends easily but if we don't really click at first we probably won't work out as friends, although things have been known to change.
I believe that satisfaction is not meant to be. You're not supposed to be content with anything really. Or at least, that's what life has taught me.
I may seem like a slut but I'm not really. Okay, well that sounds fucking cliche as hell but whatever.
The most important lessons to be learned, cannot be taught in a class, they must be learned by real life situations, or else the lesson will not stick.
I love my friends, I value them so much, but sometimes "friends" can bite you in the ass after they're done with you. Sometimes I have my doubts with some of my friends, I have a hard time completely trusting anyone, well except for Ryan. Now, even though I don't trust them, doesn't mean I don't treat them like a friend, in fact I act like I'm oblivious to maybe the most obvious suspicious behavior. I guess I am a glutton for punishment, seeing as if I had any common sense, I would stay away from people like that. I guess I'm pretty screwed in the head.
I usually cling to anyone who will listen, but I sometimes want isolation, probably because people would pay attention to me if I separate myself from them, seeing as I am an attention whore. I don't like being secretive, "mysterious", I mean maybe there are some things that I really shouldn't be so open about, but at this point I really don't care. I don't care about a lot of things, and yet my insecurities get to me. I am a hypocrite, in a lot of ways, I betray myself a lot, sabotaging my opportunities, things that may never happen again to me, things I should really be more worried about...
I really don't care who reads this, actually I'd like people to read this, it makes me feel like people would actually take the time to get to know me... Hmm I guess I am pretty desperate for attention.... Now let's see, what can I ramble on about now...
Well, this probably isn't just me, but I tend to get involved emotionally to a lot of jerks, well at least they come off as jerks. People who I can't trust, yet I thrust everything I got on them in some desperate attempt to make myself feel better. I guess I enjoy being told what to do, and I take pleasure in pleasing whatever needs they have. I guess I have a pretty fucked up complex, or something like that.
I tend to think too much, it will surely be my demise. I think about life, death, people, close friends, distant friends, friends who I don't quite like, friends that I like too much, how I get jealous of little things, how I get jealous of big things, how I don't care about important things, how I really should care about important things, why I keep on living, why I should, how selfish I am, how caring I am, how bitchy I am sometimes, how much I hurt sometimes, how far I go when I am hyper, how that could end up hurting me later in life, how I treat people on a whole, how people treat me, how people see me, how I see myself, how I see other people, how I talk about other people behind their backs, about how those people don't really deserve it, how I feel when people talk behind my back, how it feels to hurt someone, how it feels to get hurt, how it feels to love, how it feels to hate, how come I can't truly feel either, how I abandoned the only one that I did get so very awfully close to loving, how I am scared of what he thinks of me now, how I don't know whether he thinks of me any more, if he still cares, if he hates me, if he misses me, how I really don't like thinking about it, how much I cry when I think about it, how much my friends help, how much I help or don't help my friends, if I am as much of a friend to my friends as they are to me, if they are even my friends at all, how I can't let go of friends, how I can't let go of shitty friends, how I can't give up on anyone, how I give up on everything, how I don't care about anything anymore, how much I really, really wish I did care about something, anything, if I really do deserve this life, whether this life is a blessing or a curse, whether there is some type of god, or goddess or whatever it might be, whether whatever it is is punishing me, whether it is helping me, whether it even exists, whether anything exists, whether all these things in my mind aren't really, whether these memories I have are in fact, the truth, if I actually remember anything, how much I'd like to remember the latter of my childhood, how much I'd like to remember the earlier days of my childhood, how much I'd like to remember middleschool, how much I'd like to remember the private school, how much I'd like to remember most of last year, how I'd like to really, really, keep the memories of this year, whether this is the best year of my life, whether this is just the best year I actually remember, how much I wish things were simpler, how I know that they will only get more complicated, whether I'll survive in the adult world, whether I will in fact mature into an "adult", what exactly is an "adult", whether it's an age, or the maturity level, whether it's the amount of success, or the amount of hardships, experiences... But most of all, I think of.. I think.. I think I really need to stop thinking.
Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar. Bipolar.
