Aman_DIZZLE™♛[parody of love]♛

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I live my life day to day not really caring what’s going to happen next. I have gotten myself into a routine that I hate and I find no joy in what I do. Is this because life is really such a bore, or is this because it is what I make life out to be? I feel like I’m all alone, but know that I’m not. But the reason I feel like this is because I let myself feel like this. I feel like I’m dependent on people and I let myself be the person I am depending on who’s in my life. And now I have come to the realization that it’s not about who’s in your life that makes you the person you are it’s about how you let them in your life. I’m always the girl who says, “Oh I wish I had a boyfriend” and “If I had that one guy in my life, it would be perfect.” But they’re not going to change how life is. So from now on I am going to be MYSELF. I don’t care who you are or how good you look; I’m not putting on any act around you and if you like me, great, and if you don’t, oh well. It really gets annoying when people judge others just based off of looks. Because I have known some of the hottest guys and it turns out that a lot of them were jerks, and some of the not-so-attractive guys can be the sweetest guys you will ever meet. Have you ever hung out with someone for a day and each time the two of you saw different people they completely changed their personalities? Well I have, and I hated it. If I meet a guy, great, but I’m not going to go around looking for one, because I can never seem to pick the ones that will treat me right. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I’m perfect because I’m not, but it’s not going to happen anymore. I had met one guy that I really did like. He was very attractive, sweet, caring, and I ruined it. All because I was scared he was going to hurt me like the others did. And I regret that decision every time I think about it. I don’t blame him for not taking me back, I know I wouldn’t. One day out of the blue someone says it’s not going to work anymore, without any explanation. I was crazy for comparing him to my past. But it’s something I have to deal with. But the reason I mention him is because when I was with him, I really felt like I was the real me. Not putting on any acts or shows to try and impress him, and he liked me. So I know it’s possible. If I have a guy fall in love with me, I want it to be the real me and not just the person I was for that day. So, from now on, I AM GOING TO ME. And that’s it. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with a tearPROVERBS 31:30 CHARM IS DECEITFUL AND BEAUTY IS PASSING, BUT A WOMAN WHO FEARS THE LORD, SHALL BE PRAISED. PROVERBS 4:23 ABOVE ALL ELSE, GUARD YOUR HEART, FOR IT IS THE WELLSPRING OF LIFE***

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