About Me
I have a concern & question:
Why are some women calling themselves "Pastors, Apostles or Bishops?
Yes, women can teach, and minister to other women BUT she is not to exude authority OVER a man. If you have a problem with it - talk to God and DO NOT send nasty comments or messages to me because they will not be addressed. Don't let the devil trick you into thinking you can be more than what God has called or chosen you to be!
I have noticed a lot of women on MySpace calling themselves Bishops or Apostles and I find it very sad! They know that God has NOT called them to work in that office but they want to be in control. Some women I have met who call themselves Bishops/Apostles are very misguided individuals and they need Jesus! Much prayer is needed!! God's word is the same yesterday, today and forever more! When this world was created God created Adam FIRST (read Genesis).
January 5th 2008 - my 1st cousin Linda (who I was very close to) passed away from complications with Cancer.
I am thankful that I got the opportunity to spend some Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays with her and her husband. When I last saw her on Christmas Day 2007 - I looked into her eyes and felt such grief in my heart so much so that the tears started to flow. She looked and me and said "Don't do that, I'm going to be all right". I then hugged and kissed her and went into the other room. I solicit your prayers for Linda's spouse, father, mother, sister, grand children, nieces, nephews and cousins.
I was ordained as an Evangelist in Sept 2004 in Urbana, IL @ Twin City Apostolic Way of Holiness Church. I have NO desire to be a Pastor or a Bishop! (those office positions are for MEN not women.
AS THE SONG SAYS:
IF ANYBODY ASK YOU, WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH ME, YOU TELL THEM THAT I AM SAVED, SANCTIFED, HOLY GHOST FILLED & WATER BAPTIZED (IN JESUS NAME) AND I AM RUNNING FOR MY LIFE!!!!!
Here's my story (better have some popcorn and your good reading glasses on):
Growing up on the South side of Fort Worth, TX in the 60's, 70's, 80's & 90's was a struggle plus living in a family where there was limited love and support. There was so much jealousy, rivalry coming from my older sister and hatred/teasing from classmates & neighbors for not looking as pretty as they were or having the clothes that they wore.
Being called "ugly & gila monster" on a regular basis and being sexually, physically and emotionally abused by a step-father and neglected by a mother who never showed love - took its toll on me as a child and teenager. I hated myself and I had No self-esteem. Watching television and listening to music was my only outlet! I would grab my grandmothers' old Mahalia Jackson & Aretha Franklin gospel albums and sing my heart out! Even at church, I was mistreated constantly! For some reason, I always felt different - I would cried myself to sleep most nights - I always felt someone there watching over & comforting me...
Many times when I did act out - it was because I had so much anger/hurt built up inside me - that I did not know how to allow it to escape - so I'd either scream or run away from home. I wanted to die and leave all the hurt and mysery behind. I did not want to be in a world like this.
Not knowing where my real father was, I was feeling abandoned. It did not help when my mother's boyfriend (the step-father) molested me at the age of 4 or 5, things went from bad to worse and the funny thing is my mother walked in on him doing it. SHE DID NOTHING! I ran out of the apartment and to my grandmothers house across the street and lived in fear from then on.
Instead of my mother calling the police or bashing this guy's head in - she marries him AFTER the fact plus she has a child with him! Talk about being confused and betrayed! My mother chose that "lowlfe" over her own daughters! I was crushed! From then on my trust level was at zero! For the longest time, I thought the only person in the world that love me was my great grand mother (God rest her soul). At that time, I did not know that Jesus loved me or at least I did not believe that I was lovable.
During the summer of 1978, and then going into the 8th grade; a friend witnessed to me, I went with her to church in September of 1978, after Bible Class on a Wednesday night at the originally named church of Pentecostal Assembly of Fort Worth under the direction of Pastor District Elder Thomas N. Jones, Sr., (Now, The Chosen Vessel - Bishop Richard Young, Senior Pastor), I was baptized in the Name of Jesus at the age of 13, tarried with two people & received the gift of the Precious Holy Ghost and I heard MYSELF speak in other tongues! Guess what, the ridiculing and name calling continued and I was more confused than ever. It is a big misconception to think that once you get saved that things are smooth sailing from now on - OH NO!
All through out elementary, middle, junior high & high school I was ridiculed on a regular basis. I hated coming to school because I knew someone was either going to pick a fight with me, push me, bully me, call me names or just stare at me with such ugliness in their eyes. In August 1982, on a hot evening, me and a girl from down the street were playing on the phone calling people.
Well, one phone call that I made was the BAD one... I met this guy on the phone who had a nice sounding voice (the devil was getting ready to set me up BIG TIME) and this was the first time that a male was nice to me... We finally met and come to find out I knew his Aunts, Uncles, cousins, Mother (we belonged to the same church).
Long story short, this guy turned out to be on a mission from the devil himself! I was 17 at the time and when I finally found out he was 26 (OH my Lord) - he would not allow me (yes allow) to attend school any longer, or be near any males whether at church, bus or neighborhood etc...
He was one of those people who would hit a female just for the fun of it.. After a while I started believing all the garbage he would toss at me! Once, he beat me so bad that I could hardly open my mouth wide enough to fit a spoon in to eat some food. Black and blue face, bruised arm and scared beyond belief!
I remember running out a motel room naked just to get away from him but he was a little faster than I was and oh my goodness did I pay for trying to leave! I attempted suicide by taking some pills, slitting my wrists or starving myself but God kept his hand on me for some reason. I eventually had to drop out of High school since I missed so many days (I was making straight A's before I met him) and not being able to concentrate or confined in anyone for help - I had to leave Fort Worth.
One day I got sick and tired of being beaten, falsely accused, and feeling like all hope was lost. I pack up what I could from my grandmothers house and got on a Greyhound headed for Houston, TX. I was nearly a size 3 when I moved away. I could not eat solid foods until my jaw healed.
To this day my jaw still pops a little but not as much. I had nightmares for a long time about this incident. My family did not understand and were not supportive at all. My oldest sister was GLAD to see me go! She has been jealous of me since I came out of the womb and I do not know why. Anyway, that is another LONG story.
A few years had past and my life was still missing something and I kept thinking to myself "why am I still just settling and being so introverted all the time. I got to the point where I did not care what people thought or said about me and I withdrew from people and kept to myself.
Thank God, I matured finally and changed the way I thought, lived, dressed, talked and even the people that I used to hang around and THOUGHT were my friends.
One day in 1998 or 1999, I was awaken by a touch on my foot and I hear a still small voice telling me that I would be the wife of a minister... (5 years later I was) but not before marrying the WRONG guy because I begged God for a husband and since I did not want to "WAIT" on God - I married a man who had MANY issues - ranging from multiple pervious marriages to bathing to past criminal activity! What a lesson that was!
After I divorced him and all the bitterness past, I forgave my ex for everything he did to me and ask for his forgiveness for not being the wife he needed. Oh my goodness what a weight that was lifted from me!
Forgiving those who have wronged you is not for them - it is for YOU!
Once I returned to my "first love" (who is Jesus Christ) my heart was healed and I was able to "receive" what God had for me all along - and all I had to do was wait!
I love my husband SO MUCH! He is my Bishop, my Friend, my Lover, my Teacher and my Pastor "They that wait upon the Lord, shall renew their strength"!
Finding my biological father (what a story!)
It was too late - he passed on in Feb 2004 and my father in law passed away Dec 2003.
I tracked down his widow in Waco TX and we talked and talked and talked. I can talk to her about things I could never discuss with my own mother - how ironic is that?
She told me about my father's sister, neices, sister and late brother that I did not know anything about! God knows just what void to fill in our lives doesn't he?
All these years I had an older brother and another younger sister! I felt so cheated but nevertheless God knows what is best for his children.
Sadly, my older brother Xavier passed away in 2001. My new younger sister (Angela), 1st cousins (Linda & Jeanette) and my only surviving aunt (Christine) are still in Fort Worth, TX and they all are such a blessing to me... (more to come on that)
Did I mention that one of my younger sisters (my former step fathers' daughter) molested my only son when he was 7 years old? Well, that too is another chapter in my book... See, I told you, that I am writing a book on my life story...
I believe there is One Lord, One Faith & One Baptism and that is in the Name of Jesus - according to Acts 2:38
I believe in the ONENESS of God!
I am an Ordained Evangelist, I am Apostolic - the TRUE Holiness and I am a Wife to one husband who is my Bishop, Pastor, friend, lover and confidant!
Go ye therefore and teach all nations!
Living a Saved life is not hard - it is a learning process!
I pray that all who come in contact with me - are blessed in the Lord Jesus Christ!
Acts 2
38 Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.
Madea
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MADEA GOES TO JAIL
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