the international colouring competition

“What began as a simple exercise in frivolity quickly became a global phenomenon known as ‘colour innit’, or in some towns, ‘gettin coloured wid it’. Suddenly all the world rejoiced and held hands as a myriad of hues painted the sky with chromatic splendour. And to think, that all of this was brought to fruition by that drunken midnight choir who barked a bawdy ruckus from the stage.” Quote from The Book of Genesis – in which the disciples reflect after a particularly rambunctious gig by The International Colouring Competition.“It’s a dreadful shame”, remarked Chopper Stix,“that I don’t live in your town, because I can hit things you’ve never thought of hitting.” “Dang”, snorted Rusty Nail. “Blast”, muttered Captain Midnight. “Bother”, cried The Reptile, so as not to feel left out (he was actually firmly ensconced in an extended session of ‘eat the biscuit’ and had no idea of the source of all the dismay). Conversation taped by Scotland Yard and later released to the media in a bid to “catch these scoundrels who are undermining our efforts to create a civilised society”.“How about employing commonplace transport devices like automobiles or jet-packs to put you all in closer proximity, thus facilitating the addition of a drummer to your fledgling rock ‘n’ roll/easy-listening music ensemble” Aerogram from a spinster named Mildred, whose verbose yet straight-down-the-line manner of speaking was widely hailed as a marvellous method of contraception.“Humphrey B Bear”, was the ecstatic retort, resplendent in discordant tri-part harmony as the Brothers Three donned their jet-packs and glided through the slipstream of a conveniently placed rainbow towards the Sister One.Fortunately at this stage, the author also lapsed into generic narrative form to quickly explain that upon the advice of a Dear Acquaintance (and in accordance with Mildred’s logistical solution) all four previously mentioned ‘scoundrels’ converged on a golden field, which was brightly lit by ultra-mega-ok double-reverse moonbeams. The Dear Acquaintance’s directive was clear and true, so the ‘scoundrels’ acted swiftly, resulting in the following chain of events:The Reptile – Gathered all the moonbeams in a sacred play-dough chalice Captain Midnight – Summoned the errant spirit of Lucia Pamela by whistling the ‘Mash’ theme song whilst standing on his head. Chopper Stix – Grabbed Lucia Pamela’s ghost in a headlock and tickled her belly. Rusty Nail – Uttered the sacred question, with nary a note of fear in his voice. Lady Lucia Luck’s Ghost – In fits of giggles casually confides: “The International Colouring Contest, but take your time, please don’t hurry.”Unfortunately, by this time everyone was giddy from giggling and drunk from dancing too much, so everyone had forgotten both the sacred question and also the exact wording of the sanctified answer. After a hurried discussion over a late brunch of cupid-eggs and dew-drop thickshakes it was decided that the answer was at least vaguely related to nomenclature, so without further adieu everyone stood on their elbows, held each others feet and bellowed their new prayer at the setting moon: the internati o nal c o l o uring c o mpetiti o n……but take your time, please don’t hurry. I edited my profile with Thomas' Myspace Editor V4.4