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smokin

It's better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not

About Me

About me eh? Well I am not very good at this sort of thing but here goes. I am a shy person until you get to know me. I am caring and honest, I like to make people laugh but my sense of humor isn't the greatest, I have been called "weird" at times. I tend to grow on people i meet. i get the "you're a cool guy" after they have known me a while. If i think your my friend i will do anything i can for you.I have a beautiful baby girl named Nevaeh. She is the the light at the end of my tunnel. Every move i make in my life will be to make her happy and give her opportunities i never had. I vow to protect her care and love her with all my heart. I will give her confidence and guidance. I hope the wisdom i have gained through the mistakes i have made will be something i can pass on to her. I miss the sounds of her foot steps. I miss the little giggles and laughs. I miss the cries. But most of all i miss kissing her good night. I would lay her down in her crib and she would raise her little hand and stick out her thumb. i would give her a kiss on the thumb, then i would kiss my thumb and press it to her forehead and tell her "I love you my tiny bean" ***I wrote this while i still thought this little girl was my daughter. I'm not going to delete it cause the fact that she is not my real daughter is not her fault. I still love her as much as i did the first time i held her in the hospital room when she was born. I doubt I'll ever see her again but I'll never forget her.
You Are a Dreaming Soul
Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this world
So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time
You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all...
But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult
You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you.
Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses.
Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others.
Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life.
Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul What Kind of Soul Are You?
..

My Interests

concerts, movies, PC games and cillin

I'd like to meet:

My father before he dies or i do. My soul mate. I thought i met her already, guess i was wrong.

Music:

Dire Straits - Brothers in arms

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Movies:

Fear and loathing in las vagas, the usual suspects, clock work oragne, 4 rooms, action comedy.. fuck if it's a movie i'll watch it.

Television:

cartoon network, comedy central, HBO sit-coms

Books:

"Being a Dad" for dummies

Heroes:

My ex-girlfriend. she saved me from myself.

My Blog

Nevaeh Sky

Well a little girl named Nevaeh Sky will turn 3 tomorrow. I use to be in a serious relationship with her mother and at one point thought this little girl was my daughter. (If anyone reading this bothe...
Posted by smokin on Sat, 01 Dec 2007 09:15:00 PST

YEP just read it

Well.. let see here. i really don't know WTF i am even writing here. just thought it's been a while and so here we go. well what can i start with?.... LIFE IS GOOD!!!! yea FUCK YOU ALL things are fin...
Posted by smokin on Tue, 04 Sep 2007 06:16:00 PST

Sometime words just won't work

My ex left me, got a restraining order, then kept my daughter of me and accused me of abuse. When i took her to court for visitation. ( i didn't want custody cause i feel my ex could not take the stre...
Posted by smokin on Sat, 02 Dec 2006 07:38:00 PST

The fight...

About 4-5 months ago my EX called me up. she was furious. She told me i was a worthless piece of shit. she said i will never see my daughter again. the Next day she got an order of protection against ...
Posted by smokin on Mon, 30 Oct 2006 05:41:00 PST

WTF is wrong with her??

I was in a relation ship for over two years. I got my EX pregnant almost right when we met. I fell in love with her the day she gave birth to my baby girl. We stayed together for 2 1/2 years. I was w...
Posted by smokin on Thu, 31 Aug 2006 12:22:00 PST

30 seconds to mars know what i'm going through

What if I wanted to breakLaugh it all off in your faceWhat would you do?What if I fell to the floorCouldn't take all this anymoreWhat would you do? Come break me downbury me, bury meI am finished wit...
Posted by smokin on Tue, 15 Aug 2006 09:20:00 PST

Don't be afraid of the light.

Imagine me alone, my head hangs down. I don't look up because there is no one around. Imagine my soul trapped in a void with every empty beat my heart grows cold. The darkness inside me gains control....
Posted by smokin on Thu, 20 Jul 2006 08:09:00 PST

A plea for the one I love

I play the song that is in my profile to my self over and over. I play it to remind me of all the good things you have done for me. I try to focus on the good. If i start to forget about the wonderful...
Posted by smokin on Sun, 16 Jul 2006 05:44:00 PST