The Patron Saint of Douchebaggery

About Me

OK, so here's the story.

I've written this section out dozens upon dozens of times and I'm getting pretty fucking sick of it - so I'm only doing it one more time. From here on out it's strictly copypasta.

My name is an enigma. Some call me Chuck, some call me Rob. Some call me Herbert, which is stupid, and I wish they would knock that shit off.

You may have noticed I swear a lot. I do it even more often while speaking, which I also do a lot. For better or for worse, I'm an open book.

I am not a photogenic person, which is why you will see no pictures of me ever anywhere except maybe in passing. I always come out looking like some kind of inbred Appalachian banjo-twanger, which I choose to believe is nothing at all how I look in life.

I'm not trying to write my whole fucking autobiography, though, so here:

AIM - mangopowerade Yahoo - miserable_bastard2007

Now go away.

My Interests

Books:

The Elegant Universe, The Fabric of the Cosmos, Revelation Space, Chasm City, Redemption Ark, Diamond Dogs Turquoise Days, Absolution Gap, Galactic North, The Prefect, Century Rain, Pushing Ice, etc.

My Blog

On the Origin of Species of Internet Retards

THE FOURTEEN YEAR-OLD KNOW-IT-ALL (14-YOKIA) Distinguishing features: Believes that cats are smarter than people and New Orleans is sinking because of global warming. Also believes that KF...
Posted by The Patron Saint of Douchebaggery on Sun, 30 Mar 2008 08:50:00 PST

Son of a bitch. God dammit.

With full comprehension of the irony involved in making this statement, I can safely say that I despise the Internet. Truly, not since a Hanson concert in 1997 has it been so easy for retarded 14 year...
Posted by The Patron Saint of Douchebaggery on Wed, 19 Mar 2008 08:31:00 PST

Friends Don’t Let Friends Vote Republican

To be a Republican you need to believe: 1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton 2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's Daddy made w...
Posted by The Patron Saint of Douchebaggery on Mon, 22 Oct 2007 02:58:00 PST

Impregnable Defenses

There is a list of phrases that, if I ever hear at the wrong moment in my life - i.e., the throes of a nicotine fit or having just had to deal with my mother for an extended period of time - I am like...
Posted by The Patron Saint of Douchebaggery on Thu, 26 Jul 2007 04:27:00 PST

An Open Letter to a Weary World

PrefaceIt has come to my attention that somehow this blog entry has been discussed on Yahoo! Answers, and that it was greeted with a less than enthusiastic response. To those who read it there, ...
Posted by The Patron Saint of Douchebaggery on Sat, 26 May 2007 04:31:00 PST

Another rambling vociferous rant

I am so fucking tired of the religious right's paranoid sense of self-martyrdom, it's un-freaking-believable. Seriously. What is with this new Christian attitude of only caring about hatred when it's...
Posted by The Patron Saint of Douchebaggery on Wed, 16 May 2007 11:07:00 PST

Innovation? I think not

Does anyone else think it's not only sad but horrifying that Christina Aguilera's idea of "innovation" is to do music that hasn't been done for so long that people have had ample chance to forget all ...
Posted by The Patron Saint of Douchebaggery on Tue, 15 May 2007 10:57:00 PST