Back By Popular Demand: You Know You're A Native Citizen of Rio When...
10. You unconciously go cruising down Avenue F, even though its Wednesday afternoon, and there aint no holiday or fiesta. You see hot rod cars, beat up cars, and license plates from Couhahuila, Chihuahua, Neuvo Leon, Alaska, Ontario, and you realize, you're livin in the destination hot spot.
9. You still call Avenue F but its true name, not the other name that magically appeared. But you ironically call Margarita Street by it's new name Dr Fermin Calderon Blvd. hmmmm..
8. You complain there aint nothing to do, so you go get some fast food to help you think of something to do, para que tienes un estomago lleno, and then tu clique shows up at Sonics Drive En On The Creek.
7. Answers arent given in perfect English, or perfect Spanish, but thats ok, because everyone understands anyway. Words like AY, Aila, all champ style, un ride (rr-ay-te), la Wal Mart, HEBs, are very common. And if you cant think of the word in Spanish, just add and o, ando, ar, a, or just roll the "rs" . Es Ok, I understan-Spanglish, language of the future. (y los gringios get all mad.. porque? they use it too!)
6. You call up your amigos to go swimming at the lake, but gas is too expensive and everyone is broke from clubben en Acuna, and Arriba's, so you go swim in the creek. While you're there, you make a bar b q and all the other people at the park come and take your beer, tus sodas, tortillas, and run.
5. A tormenta rolls in, and it only rains at Laughlin. (Why does it always rain at Laughlin, and never in Rio? hmmmmm) y luego, it does rain in Rio, and the everyone comes out of the house to believe if its true. because you and I both know, only in Rio does it rain while its sunny. (well, it does happen in other places, just not as often)
4. Everything sold at the stores is a large for guys, and an extra small for girls, and you know someones not from Rio when they look for other sizes. The vaqueros wear tighter pantalones than the jotas do, the girls clothes is a little too tight and doesnt look so comfortable, but the jotas always look good with their Mac make up from WalMart y HEBs.
3. Only in Rio can you find the best tortillas, the best cumbia music, the best salsas, and still not leave your house. And if you run out of any of the above, just go to cunado's house and steal his beer.
2. You go to Wal Mart to try to go get some groceries all secret style, but you run in to two people from high school, your Tia, your elementary school teacher, your ex,your enemy, and havent even made it past the McDonalds entrance area yet. Then the cash lady acts like she knows you and tells you all her problems and you're like ay Dio por favor dame me cambio!!
1. You finally get your shoppin done at Wal Mart, and realize that the traffic sucks, so you go back in to McDonalds and wait for rush hour to be over. (tu sabes que school jus let out.) Thats when you realize that Del Rio is an extremely spread out, diverse metropolitan mecca, with the HUGE Jota community all over the MetroPlex, the big Jewish population to the North, the Azteca peoples to the west, local vaqueros to the East, las valley Gringa Grrls y Grigno Bois que se creen que son de Abercrombie y American Eagle are livin it up on the Southside, y los Metrosexuals in el Downtown, and you think.. Gracias A Dios. Del Rio is home.
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I'd like to meet:
Id like to meet the following people in no particular order and may be alive or dead:
Saint Jude, the Patron of Lost Causes (my parton saint, thank you)
The guys who make make laptops so freakin complicated.
The author of Fast Food Nation, for having educated me on grotesque things that I eat.
The makers of Hallmark Cards.
Donnie Darko
The maker of the Fifth Element.
Selena
Tim McGraw
More homo friendly straight people.
My Grandma's Dad.
The person who draws the lotto balls.
A porn star, and ask them why they do it.
A president and ask him why they did it.
My Senator and my Congressman/woman.
The president of the European Union.
Ceasar, the one who got stabbed.
Cleopatra.
Vincente Fox.
Zeus.
Sprint cell phone CEO and tell him the customer service sucks.
Del Rio's founder.
Thomas Jefferson.
Jake Gyllenhal.
The person who came up with the idea of CREDIT. and tell him how much that point system sucks.
Justin Timberlake, he and I are bringing sexy back.
Kelly, cause we need to get some 3 hundred dollar fuckin shoes!
And many, many, many more people that have left their trace in God's Allah's Ganesh' Yaweh's Karma's gracious green earth.
Movies:
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Senor WOW
Birthday: 12 Jan
Birthplace: Del Rio TX
Current Location: Round Lake, IL
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Light Brown
Height: 5'7" or 67" or 171cm
Right Handed or Left Handed: Left
Your Heritage: Ameritexigayno
The Shoes You Wore Today: My Rhinos, The Horny Ones
Your Weakness: Legs, Chocolate, and Noses
Your Fears: Losing My Mom
Your Perfect Pizza: Someone Elses
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Finishing My Book
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: Such Is Life, C'est La Vie
Thoughts First Waking Up: Mmmmm Comfy Sheets
Your Best Physical Feature: My Abs And Smile
Your Bedtime: Im Feel Like Im A Grandpa, So Bedtime Is 10pmish
Your Most Missed Memory: Lake Amistad On A Crisp Fall Night
Pepsi or Coke: Pexi
MacDonalds or Burger King: Burger King
Single or Group Dates: Single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton Chamomille Tea
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate, Did Someone Say Chocolate?
Cappuccino or Coffee: Coffe, Con Much Crema
Do you Smoke: Quit (Pats Self On Back)
Do you Swear: Dammit, I Tried Not To Here
Do you Sing: Very Much So, And Very Much Out Of Tune
Do you Shower Daily: Um, Daily
Have you Been in Love: No
Do you want to go to College: I Did
Do you want to get Married: I Dont Want The Paper, I Want The Commitment
Do you belive in yourself: Yes, Lots
Do you get Motion Sickness: When Im Drunk And Plastered
Do you think you are Attractive: Yes, Id Date Me
Are you a Health Freak: Sometimes, When It Comes To Making Others Guilty For Eating Fast Food :)
Do you get along with your Parents: Yes, Love 'Em
Do you like Thunderstorms: Love The Storms, Especially Loud Thunder
Do you play an Instrument: Si, El French Horn
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Nope, Not One Drop
In the past month have you Smoked: I Quit, And Now My Lungs Rejoice
In the past month have you been on Drugs: Nope
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Yup
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: No
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: Duh, Chocolate Double Fudge Ones
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Yuck, I Like My Fish Cooked
In the past month have you been on Stage: When Im Dancing, Yes
In the past month have you been Dumped: Yes
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: No, But Ive Skinny Fallen Down The Stairs
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: No
Ever been Drunk: Si Senor WOW Has
Ever been called a Tease: I Think So
Ever been Beaten up: No
Ever Shoplifted: Nope
How do you want to Die: In My Sleep, When Im 199 Years Old
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: I Am Grown, And Barely Know What I Am Now
What country would you most like to Visit: Australia
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: As Long As They're Eyes
Favourite Hair Color: Red, Blond
Short or Long Hair: Shaved, Long, Medium, Short, Hair, None, Doesnt Matter
Height: Greater Then 171cm
Weight: Proportionate
Best Clothing Style: His Own Flare
Number of Drugs I have taken: The 5th Amendment, Love It!
Number of CDs I own: Do Burnt Ones Count?
Number of Piercings: Hot On Others, Just Not On Me*
Number of Tattoos: *Read Above
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Regret, In My Books, Means You Never Learned From Your Mistakes
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
