The Topher profile picture

The Topher

Listen! Do you smell that?!?

About Me

I am without a doubt a total DORK! I speak in movie qoutes. I am a beer snob. I am the guy at every bar that makes you laugh so hard you wet yourself. I will do just about anything to have a good time, including just randomly breaking out into song. I look like a thug, but act like something between Yoda and Billy Madison. . P.S. almost forgot... my favorite qoute is "ARRRRRRRRRRR!" P.P.S. "someday we'll find it... the rainbow connection... the lovers... the dreamers... and me..." TopherTheRed on AIM
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Topher
Birthday: March 26th
Birthplace: Orange, CA
Current Location: Da LBC
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Brown
Height: 5'10
Right Handed or Left Handed: more right than left
Your Heritage: 3/4 Scottish, 1/4 Itallian
The Shoes You Wore Today: boots
Your Weakness: whiskey, and the smell of a womans hair
Your Fears: Garden Gnomes and boy bands
Your Perfect Pizza: anything from greektown in Detroit
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Finish my painting
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: what up kitten?
Thoughts First Waking Up: boobs!
Your Best Physical Feature: eyes
Your Bedtime: bedtime?
Your Most Missed Memory: i knew what it was it wouldn't be missing
Pepsi or Coke: coke
MacDonalds or Burger King: BK
Single or Group Dates: both
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: cappuccino
Do you Smoke: y
Do you Swear: y
Do you Sing: y
Do you Shower Daily: y
Have you Been in Love: y
Do you want to go to College: n/a
Do you want to get Married: y
Do you belive in yourself: y
Do you get Motion Sickness: n
Do you think you are Attractive: n
Are you a Health Freak: n
Do you get along with your Parents: mom yes
Do you like Thunderstorms: hell yeah
Do you play an Instrument: bass
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: y
In the past month have you Smoked: y
In the past month have you been on Drugs: n
In the past month have you gone on a Date: n
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: n
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: i'm a sushi chef, what do you think
In the past month have you been on Stage: n
In the past month have you been Dumped: y
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: n
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: y
Ever been Drunk: y
Ever been called a Tease: n
Ever been Beaten up: y
Ever Shoplifted: y
How do you want to Die: with a sword in my right hand and a manhatten in my left
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: a dirty old man
What country would you most like to Visit: candyland
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: hazel or green
Favourite Hair Color: black or red
Short or Long Hair: depends on the girl
Height: 5'7
Weight: whatever looks good
Best Clothing Style: classy or sassy
Number of Drugs I have taken: good question
Number of CDs I own: some
Number of Piercings: 4
Number of Tattoos: 6
Number of things in my Past I Regret: 3
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

My Interests

blacksmithing, The Rat Pack, mini golf, Bettie Page bangs, herbalism, strong bad, martial arts, SCA, faire, my kilts, summer fun Cathulu, Playing my bass, ice pick throwing, painting, Jameson's, 1940 thru 1969 hotrods, writing, bowling, tattoos, coffee, a bit of swing dancing from time to time, the slurpee a day party, and I am the lord god king of singing butt rock while bartending! ...and many more wonderful and nutty things!

I'd like to meet:

I love tasteful people who love tastless humor. I like people who enjoy going to dive bars and don't bitch about "the bar scene". Intelligent people who love humor and laid-back people... all an all I just am looking for new people to screw off with... tell me what you like to do for fun... if it sounds cool, i'll try it... Oh yea almost forgot artsie dorks rule.

Music:

you name it... pretty much anything not in the realm of new rap or new country, but Johnny Cash ain't country. oh... PS-Rockabilly rules!! PPS- among my favorites are Dragonsire, Velvet Underground, Tenacious D, Billy Holiday, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, Iron Maiden, The Smiths, Sisters of Mercy, The Flogging Molly, Social D, The Pouges, Mozart, FEAR, Tool, Bad Religion, Lords of Acid, The Soundtrack to The Muppet Movie, The Misfits, Mars Volta, DJ Skribble, Josiah, Depeche Mode, Dropkick Murphy's, Primus, Danzig, Faith No More, John Lee Hooker, Sting, Eric Clapton, Run DMC, Tom Waits, William Shatner, Iggy Pop, The Smiths, Oingo Boingo, Glen Miller, Gene Kelly, Me First and The Gimme Gimmes, Dio, BB King, Stevie Ray Vaughn, DI, Agent Orange, Johnny Lang, Frank Black, House of Pain, Jimi Hendrix, Rusted Root, KMFDM, Crystal Method, Dirty Vegas, Mike Ness, AC/DC (like old Bon Scott stuff best), Hot Hot Heat, Wagner, The Reverand Horton Heat, Mike Myers in So I married An Axe Murderer, Cadillac Tramps, The Cramps, Thin Lizzy, Knight Rider, Sex Pistols, Toy Dolls (only when I haven't been watching alot of pinky and the brain), Brian Setzer, DK, Stray Cats, R C R, The Soundtrack to Conan The Barbarian (even if you hate the movie give the soundtrack a listen), The English Beat, the Specials, The Untouchables, Selector, Santana, Albert King, The Cure, Neil Diamond and The Rat Pack!!!
I AM 56% SKA! Well, maybe I'm trying too hard, maybe I'm not trying hard enough. I shouldn't forget my roots, and remember that punk and reggae wouldn't exist without ska. Take the SKA test at Fuali.com

Movies:

just to name a few... the big lebowski, casablanca, so I married an axe murderer, donnie darko, say anything, labyrinth, patton, the breakfast club, all things monty python, pcu, goonies, 100 girls, clue, the medicine show, gross point blank, rushmore, punch drunk love, godzilla vs. megalon, dr. strangelove, animal house, name of the rose, the princess bride, transformers the movie, logan's run, the blues brothers, clerks, the day the earth stood still, star trek II the wrath of khan, the commitments, muppet tresure island, army of darkness, chopper chicks in zombie town, james and the giant peach, last hurrah for chivalry, The Boondock Saints, Big Trouble in Little China!!!!!!, and the list goes on and on...

Television:

RED DWARF! will and grace, dead like me, anything on discovery, the cartoon network, the food network, or the history channel. hey i almost forgot who doesn't love battlestar galactica and thundarr the barbarian... on the strange side I will admit to being a zone trooper and watching the nasa channel when it's just hours of orbit footage with a bottle and some candles...

Books:

anything by Shakespeare (Henry V www-cs.canisius.edu/~salley/bard.book/henryv.html), Alan Moore/Melinda Gebbie (lost girls), Dan Abnett (Straight Silver), Gaiman (American Gods, discordia, Death, Sandman), Tolkien (The Hobbit), Tony Harris (Starman), or Koontz (The Oddkins), Richard Powers (The Bug Variations, Moorcock (Elric of Melnibone), David Gemmel (Legend), Richard Marcinko (Rogue Warrior), hell just give me a book of classic poetry or a history text and i'm as happy as a pup with a hard-on!

Heroes:

Tom Waits, Patton, Dave Maaske, Rostan, Gene Kelly, JB & KG= Tenacious D, Kurasawa, Godzilla, Capt. Kirk, Pres. Teddy R., Scott Sanchez RIP St. P-day 2004, John Candy, The Dozers from Fraggle Rock, Karen from Will and Grace, Animal from The Muppets, The Cookie Monster, and most anyone who hates the french, i'll think of some more later...

My Blog

white, white, wine

  Have wine will travel (but not far). Looking for good music and a place to share a bottle of white.
Posted by The Topher on Thu, 20 Sep 2007 02:16:00 PST

One of two reasons I still am here

KING HENRY V What's he that wishes so? My cousin Westmoreland? No, my fair cousin: If we are mark'd to die, we are enow To do our country loss; and if to live, The fewer men, the greater share o...
Posted by The Topher on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

going home again

So I went to Long Beach last night... it's been awhile. I got to see old friends... I went to my favorite coffee house in the world. I also went to one of my favorite hole in the wall bars... It f...
Posted by The Topher on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

I am so out....

All fled All done So lift me on the pyre The feast is over and the lamps expire -Robert E. Howard
Posted by The Topher on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

F$@%!ster testimonials

A brilliant virgo I know did this and I thought it was a great idea... so here they are... Bret, 10/01/2003: A beastgod who roams the earth with a shaved pate and a wicked leer...and a ...
Posted by The Topher on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST