My name is David, it's high time you get to know me better. I am exactly five feet six inches tall. I am right handed, but left footed. I have a metal retainer stuck in my mouth. If you know anyone that can remove it, message me please. I have had eight wisdom teeth removed from my face. That's twice as many as the average person's face has. I have suffered testicular torsion, and anyone who has experienced that knows how bad that sucks. My cousin is buddhist. He could probably kick your ass. Many spells have been mastered by me. If you'd like to schedule lessons, well, that's too fucking bad. You can't possibly learn my kind of magic. I possess an innate sense of adventure and danger. If you follow me into uncharted territory, it will probably be the most amazing experience of your life. I have a floodwall of musical skill built up inside me, but the gods have forbidden me from touching an instrument. They claim I could herald in an age of destruction if I play so much as a single musical note. But using game instruments is okay, so I can still play Rock Band and Guitar Hero. People who piss me off tend to go missing or explode. People who make me happy tend to become the world's most successful individuals. Write that down. My agenda is simple. In fact, it's so simple, I don't even have an agenda. I just have one word, that I carry around with me on a piece of paper. That word is "DAVE".
