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Auntie May’s Wise
Words of the Week


OSTEOPORNOSIS - A degenerate disease


AS FEATURED IN THE MARCH EDITION OF 'DEEP - LONDON' - a free magazine with a circulation of 20,000


My name is Mayqueen Harbinger.
Now the bright morning-star, Day's harbinger,
Comes dancing from the east, and leads with her
The flowery May, who, from her green lap, throws
The yellow cowslip, and the pale primrose.
MILTON: Song on May Morning.
Don't judge by appearances. My grandchildren keep me young (in mind although not so much in body nowadays). I have more young friends than teeth. I have a glass eye - can you tell which one it is? I take it out at Christmas after a few sherries and drop it in my son-in-law's pint. I am addicted to Bells Bronchial Balsam. I run an invaluable Advice Service without which I know that many people, young and old, would be floundering in the depths of despair and quagmire of confusion. I have proven psychic abilities relied on by the likes of Derek Acorah and my good friend Edith Shacklebottom. I run a renowned Mobile Eyeliner Application Service and I am frequently to be found propping up various bars in the vicinity of Camden, dispensing advice to would-be chart-toppers and long-haired, guitar playing youths. Never underestimate the power of a medium sherry and try not to wear the same socks two days running.
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My Interests

I'd like to meet:

I'd like to meet the Pope (so I can stamp on his foot). Horatio Caine (except my granddaughter told me he's not real). Barry Scott. Miss B again (she can spell and punctuate nicely). All the Superheroes in Croydon's Unique New Terror Squad in the same room, well, pub. Edith, although she'll probably be round after bingo. Dave Grohl (such a lovely boy) and Steven Tyler, definitely.

My Blog

Oh! My Giddy Aunt

Well folks, I've been Out and About so much recently I'm quite dizzy - could that be why I keep falling over ...?  No, don't answer that oneSo, for those of you not fortunate enough to live in Cr...
Posted by on Thu, 09 Oct 2008 18:30:00 GMT

Twice as much Auntie May for no money

Yes folks, it's unbelievable but true! I've got a two-page spread in August's Deep Magazine (although not a centrefold, I might add) so that's twice as much Auntie May as you had last month.Have a re...
Posted by on Sun, 17 Aug 2008 12:37:00 GMT

Drummers are Superheroes Too

Yes it's official - Rock is good for you.  Here's an article I found recently on the esteemed BBC website.  Rock drummers are top athletesPlaying the drums for a rock band requires the stami...
Posted by on Thu, 24 Jul 2008 14:20:00 GMT

What on earth was I doing?

Hello again friends and relationsWhat was I doing? Oh yes, that was it... swigging back the Jack and tugging bikers' beards that's what. Read on dear friends, and join me for another month's moshing...
Posted by on Fri, 04 Jul 2008 18:50:00 GMT

Deeply Happy Birthday

Hello my dearsOnce again my services have been called upon (at 1 o'clock in the morning I might add) to grace the pages of the Very Wonderful Deep Magazine in honour of their 5th Birthday.  I can...
Posted by on Thu, 19 Jun 2008 08:24:00 GMT

Auntie Mays in print again...

Yes my dears, those wonderful people (well that wonderful person) at Deep has foolishly agreed to publish my random ramblings in an action-packed rock-fest thingummy.  Anyway, here it is.  C...
Posted by on Fri, 16 May 2008 05:41:00 GMT

Cockney Rhyming Slang modernised!

You may be interested to hear that Edith and I have re-written Cockney Rhyming Slang to reflect today's more rock'n'roll society - you have to admit it had got a bit outdated.Here's a sample of how it...
Posted by on Thu, 31 Jan 2008 05:20:00 GMT

Going all Misty Eyed

I got this today from the irrepressible Miss B, who travelled round the world from Australia to meet a load of people who had only previously met virtually, via Myspace.  Not sure about the safet...
Posted by on Fri, 21 Dec 2007 05:21:00 GMT

Fun, Fun and More Fun

What a weekend I've had. It actually started on Thursday when I popped into the Ship on my way home to see how the Battle of the Bands was going. Richie, who was judging, was a bit squiffy and no wo...
Posted by on Mon, 17 Dec 2007 06:14:00 GMT

Deeply Wired

Hell my dearsOnce again, I have been commissioned to comment on the month's mayhem and merriment in the wonderful Wired. From now on, Wired is henceforth known as Deep due to some scurrilous litigatio...
Posted by on Sun, 16 Dec 2007 17:04:00 GMT