D. Lightning #8 - ProfilesArchive

About Me

In a sense of urgency, I decided to change this little Myspace of mine. Not because I felt as though it was not cool before. (Who didn't love the grey background, seriously) But it was time. For when I wrote that last about me, I was a mere teenager of sorts. Now, I am the veteran of TWO decades, and my Myspace should reflect such an achievement. But as all "About Me"s should be, this is a little bit about me. I am no normal human being, but alas, one of those special kinds. I'm full blooded latino, yet I am as white as they come. I blame television and McDonalds, the latter of which I have banned from my life because it seemed right to protect my body from such unholy and unnatural products. I mean come on, when was the last time you were looking in a dictionary and found a McCow or a McChicken? Never. Unless your brother hijacked your dictionary and had a field day within it. I am what many would call a Deli Jedi Master. I layeth the smacketh down on sandwiches to rebel against the oppression of the Evil Empire called Subgay's....which you may know as Subway's: We found the cure for being fat so waste all your money on our food since you are too stupid to figure out that you can make sandwiches at home! And yes that is their whole name, you have to read between the lines. Instead I focus my food excursions for Groucho's Deli, 2 of which I am a general manager of, Lake Carolina and Blythewood locations, so eat there and be merry. But only at my stores. The others suck because I said so. I have my own house in the beautiful city of Elgin. Now, you could say its still Columbia, but you still have to write Elgin if you want to send me a letter, and if I'm not home to recieve a package, I have to drive all the way to the Elgin Post Office to get it. I live alone with my XBox 360, which has all the qualities I could ever ask for in a girl. (In case you wanted to know what those are: It's pretty, smooth, keeps me entertained, lets me watch movies or play video games all day, and opens up whenever I want it to). Lastly, despite living in Columbia, SC my entire life, I am not a southerner since I hate tea, don't care for grits, and I make fun of people with southern accents. It just has to be done. I go to the real USC, University of South Carolina and I am a Gamecock fan for life, partly because I can say Go Cocks and be accepted and not be called gay. And I need a rich wife so I can do all the stupid things I want to do, so if you are this type, please apply anywhere.

My Interests

Poetry, Music, Philosophy, and the Deli-arts

Music:

Incubus, Burns Out Bright, Stone Temple Pilots, The Shins, Postal Service, Death Cab For Cutie, Sparta, At The Drive-In, The AKA's [Are Everywhere!], Weezer, Ash and the list goes on and on....

Movies:

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Monty Python's The Holy Grail, Kill Bill Vol 1 & 2

Television:

I can't deny it any longer. I have fallen back in love with television and yes, I am still cool. I watch a select few shows. Sundays are sensational with Family Guy. Mondays are magnificant with 24 and Raw (Yes I watch wrestling and I am not afraid to admit it, which is obvious since I just did.) Tuesdays are terrific with House. Also thanks to the DVR gods, I watch delightful portions of Conan O'Brien, Daily Show, and The Colbert Report. Oh, and how can I forget my daily sport portions of Around the Horn, PTI, and Sportscenter? The best block of sports EVER.

Books:

Dictionary, Instruction Manuals, School books (only the day before tests when I don't go to classes), All the Calvin and Hobbes.

Heroes:

These men are the ones I aspire to be one day in the very near future.

JACK BAUER. If people would just do what he says, the show would be called 12.

CHUCK NORRIS. Chuck Norris ruins the endings of Harry Potter books for children who just bought one for the hell of it. When they start crying Chuck Norris calmly says, "I'll give you something to cry about," and roundhouse kicks them in the face.

DR. GREGORY HOUSE. He can diagnose, cure and insult you...at the same time.

MASTER CHIEF. The only thing worth getting your girlfriend pissed off is hours of Halo on Xbox Live. (It's their fault anyway)

BILL NYE, THE SCIENCE GUY. He could kill you with science, if he felt like it.

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES. Quite possibly the reason why everyone loves pizza.

JIM CANTORE. He eats hurricanes for breakfast.

EASY BUTTON. You can't help but press it. Repeatedly.

My Blog

FAQ: School is out. What do I do now with all this responsibility-free free time?

Well kids, I can answer that question for you with the motto I have developed for this glorious, yes that's right, glorious summer. It's goes a little something like this: "Summer '06: The Summer We W...
Posted by D. Lightning #8 on Sat, 29 Apr 2006 04:25:00 PST

Times are changing

Well after much debate, things are starting to change. First off, I had been wrestling with giving the death blow to my poetry on the web and it's almost been done for me. Apparently, I had been payin...
Posted by D. Lightning #8 on Thu, 23 Feb 2006 06:51:00 PST

It's time I got back to the Good Life

Every once in awhile, I've noticed I go through phases of where ungodly bad luck occurs. Luckily, they are short-termed and good luck soon follows thereafter. But unfortunately for me, what usually is...
Posted by D. Lightning #8 on Sun, 19 Feb 2006 11:06:00 PST

And this just started, today

Amazing. Just unbelievably amazing. Let's drop some stats down. 2 days. Theoretically 375 minutes which equals 5 classes. 4 in the same room. 5 in the same building. 2 previously unknown exits. 2...
Posted by D. Lightning #8 on Fri, 13 Jan 2006 07:59:00 PST

The entry that is so pointless it doesn't deserve a new song

I asked someone this and I felt as though it summed everything to the max: "hilikus2: you know that feeling where its late, you need to sleep, you dont want to sleep, you have no where to go and your ...
Posted by D. Lightning #8 on Sat, 07 Jan 2006 10:29:00 PST

We stand on top of the world, looking down.

Happy Flippin New Year! I am so excited about erasing 05 from all my papers and putting in 06 thereafter for, oh, the next year or so. But anyway, there isn't anything amazingly exciting today. I ju...
Posted by D. Lightning #8 on Wed, 04 Jan 2006 04:58:00 PST

But darling I want the same thing that I wanted before

And then Spurrier said, "LET MY PEOPLE GO! And the Pharaoh Sorenstien complied. Thus began winter break 2006, aka Christmas Break for unpolitically correct because we all know more people believe in ...
Posted by D. Lightning #8 on Fri, 16 Dec 2005 09:34:00 PST

Give me all the peace and joy in your mind

So, I won money playing poker tonight. While drinking. With cool guys. I also got to see the rock star who will remain nameless, mainly because I don't know why. That is, I don't know why I'm keeping ...
Posted by D. Lightning #8 on Sun, 13 Nov 2005 11:38:00 PST

I left you waiting, at the least could we be friends?

First off, I apologize for anyone I left hanging for a long period of time. Next I apologize to everyone else since I have not updated in ages. Let me tell you why. I finally. got. cable. It took two ...
Posted by D. Lightning #8 on Sun, 30 Oct 2005 06:28:00 PST

And the only thing keeping me dry is (where i am)

I am avoiding sleep at all costs. So I decided to type out this crazy writing extravaganza I had during English class. I'll let you decide what drugs I am on. Let me just introduce the rant before I p...
Posted by D. Lightning #8 on Sat, 08 Oct 2005 10:25:00 PST