STAND UP BROUGHT TO YOU BY ALEXIS COHEN
"THE PHONETIC SPELLING OF PHUCK"
ALLENTOWN REPRESENT! WE NEED TO PAINT THE TOWN, HOLLA!
INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY, MOFO'S
WRITER FROM BIRTH
Alexis Cohen - watch more funny videos
YOU'RE NOT A GOOD COMEDIAN UNTIL YOU'RE CENSORED BY THE F.C.C.
STAND UP COMEDY BROUGHT TO YOU BY ALEXIS COHEN
Comedy Brought to you by Alexis Cohen - watch more funny videos
Thank You American Idol For asking me to Chant and then,
successfully "Urinating" on Buddhism and Philosophy.
Greetings
Viewers, Aliens, and anyone or anything who isnt too lazy to read!
This is Season 8 and I cringe myself when I see it, My audition,
Ah, Friends, I'm awake here for 78 hours, Yes, you see when people took hotels and had their pleasant time relaxing I was one of the contestants who stayed in a car, ah but my friends I'm all too aware that vagrancy in New Jersey and New York is Illegal, so I opt to stay awake,
Welcome to Hell, During Day Three Hallucinations begin to set in.
The camera crew asked me to chant, then proceeded to pop a squat on Buddhism and Philosophy, then they asked me to interact with other contestants, next to tears this time, I was begged to Flip Simon Off, My Pleasure, You didn't have to Beg......
The crew leaves me in the " Holding Area" for over an Hour, which I might add is spitting distance from the judges, you do see them purposely to create anxiety for the performer, or in my case, to make them curse.
Those Freementle wants to taunt they leave waiting to see the judges
Can anyone say "torture?" HAHAHA Kinda,
Look Guys, No Lip Raping Required!
Simon, My Dear, Sit, I implore you and Rotate. You didn't have to ask!
..
PLEASE ALLOW ME TO CLARIFY JEFFEREY DONOVAN IS THE SEXIEST ACTOR ALIVE
Greetings,
Please keep in mind that American Idol met my character, Glitter Girl, I am the only actress to date to audition for the show, But check it, aren't musicians actors?
Think about it? Ya Dig?
I am the First Celebrity personality who is actually personal with a Fan Base, It is, You guys who make me a better entertainer, THANK YOU.
Idol 2009
Speaking of acting, I can follow any script, and portray any role, I am a trained actress since age 11, I grew into some martial arts as I grew older. I was asked to chant, and walk around the room to interview people, just like contestants were asked to dance, They must hire Spy's....
There is spontaneity however Idol seemed to actually know me........while interviewing Hollywood winners, the camera crew showed my exhaustion, next to tears, and then cut their audio.
Into Chinese Water Torture??
Instead try, American Idol
I auditioned for two seasons, season 7 and 8, American Idol is a total test of Human endurance, During season 7 and 8,
" ROUND 2 "
Please it is my deepest Honor, I implore you, Feel Free My dear....
Sit and Rotate.
"Your Grinning, " Why Are You Grinning? " Ryan Seacrest
This is for my expression towards the American Idol season 8 Auditions 2009, They are long, intense and over 2 weeks long. I would rather get 10 thousand paper cuts then go to these auditions again, Looks like I better prepare for many paper cuts, think of a empty Football field, now think of one filled, with wall to wall people, even the crew members state people pass out from these auditions each year, For American Idol, There are Teams of EMT's on call for the auditions, This is my Ode to you. To My fans Thank you for all the support over the last year, Here is an explanation : I auditioned FOR TWO SEASONS, of American Idol for the memory of my father Not because I saw Fame and fortune as an option.
My dad Idolized Simon Cowell, I would rather have an ice pick shoved into my eye then work with someone so smug, Looks like I enjoy ice picks, I don't eat caviar, and I don't drive a Benz, and I can hold a Broom correctly. I auditioned at Idol twice for the memory of my father, because my dad asked me to audition so long ago, when he since passed I felt it was time, and even as a teenager I knew that I might not get through Idol because of my personality, NOT TALENT. So please don't think I did this for attention or money, I am the only trained actor to date who has auditioned for the show, My friends, On camera in many instances, I showed Incredible restraint, The photographs taken of me, show sleep deprivation, Hour 72 still awake, Location : Pier 31, New York City, Law and Order Way, Chelsea Piers, or in my case spitting distance of my casting manager, www.actorsreps.com
Richard Breanan, To date I have starred in Two Feature Films, I hold improvisational skills where I script my own roles,
In Post production-
Thank you for your support, Always Have true faith, And Always be Victorious.
"Is That Ted Turner?"....... CAPTAIN PLANET!!!!!!!!!!
Oct 29th, 2008. Phillys Win the world series, The Cops come out in Riot Gear, with Blockades, and I, come out with, friends, and the camera, This happens Once In a Life Time,
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..
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Were you there?
"There will be in the next generation or so a pharmacological method of making people love their servitude and producing dictatorship without tears so to speak. Producing a kind of painless concentration camp for entire societies so that people will in fact have their liberties taken away from them, but will rather enjoy it, because they will be distracted from any desire to rebel by propaganda, or brainwashing, or brainwashing enhanced by pharmacological methods. And this seems to be the final revolution."
-- Aldous Huxley, Tavistock Group, California Medical School, 1961
"They say not to live in the past and such, I deify that, Well I say I can go outside and go and get a large rock older then the oldest song you know, and drop it on your foot, See the past didn't go anywhere now did it? Time is an enormous river and you are standing in it just as I am standing in it. " Utah Phillips
I AM A Writer
All that is beautiful
All that is Vengeance
All that is rage and
All that is real
This is how music is written, with scribbles on a page. Music flows the best, and words are etched in stone, when you think about it, cry about it, put every lost emotion into it, to make it fit best.
" The Divided "
Late nights, blood shot eyes, tick, tock, ticking half past five, When the plans are all drawn out on the horizon, at sunrise, the hue strikes blue, will it be you, who pulls through? Demanding what is due. Take the unlabeled masses, Its time to blaze down those roads that noone passes. In this blaze of glory, don't tell me that its too tense, in this story thats not making any sense.
Ryze above, ryze within, dont give up, dont give in, and when we all fall down, we will ryze again my friend. It's like giving the finger to the Governor, my only friend is treason, in this one last night of this prison, while the world stands still, like a blaze of fire, and a touch of light, like a match to the kindling, like ryzing above the fight, like a kiss of, A kiss of fire, so fire, amongst the believers, Fire, amongst the cheaters, so Fire....
- ALEXIS
" Always Be Victorious, All Ryzing "
American Idol Theme Song (lyrics: Alexis Cohen)
THANK YOU RHETT AND LINK
One day. Somehow, some way. And I hope that someone sees that I have some talent somewhere. Whether it be in acting or singing. Or whether it be the fact that I have the chutzpah, and the....BLEEP ?, To be able to get up and talk. To be able to say what I m thinking. To be able to say what I mean. To be able to speak the heart. To be able to…talk. To be able to lead. I will be victorious. Always be victorious. All ryzing!
Sick Of You
