Bogg The Dwarf

My book is part sci-fi, part fantasy and part present day normality (or not-normal-ality as the case may be) and concerns three Dwarves (who may or may not be related) who live in completely different universes but are brought together by the ineptitude (albeit enthusiastic) of one of them. My book Agents decided to disappear shortly aftyer declaring they were going to get me a publisher and so it remains self-published to this day. If you happen to be a publisher with some spare million pound book deals, please get in touch!
Please visit and join my Bogg Group: http://groups.myspace.com/WorldofBogg
It appears to be a bit quiet in the Rat's Entrails Inn at the moment so if you get there quick, you may be served with a nice tankard of frothy ale without waiting. Be careful of the drunkard at the bar though...
Here are a few quotes that fellow Myspace friends have made about the book (they are all genuine comments from people I didn't know prior to meeting them on Myspace and can be found by browsing my comments pages) Thank you to everyone for your feedback:
"Just finished your book, i loved it! Very funny, hope there will be more someday!"
“I'm eagerly awaiting the sequal, & I wish you all the luck in getting Bogg published.”
“…it was a great book, thank you.”
“I must say that when I saw the cover of your book, I was compelled to buy it. (I'm a D&D geek, so flash 20 sided dice at me and you can get me to do just about anything! As long as you don't roll a 1, that is.) Eagerly awaiting it's arrival and meeting Bogg.”
“I did visit Amazon, actually. And read the first few pages. I was caught completely off guard, laughing loud enough for my husband to look at me curiously. I ended up reading to him the Pete the Poet scene, which in turn had him chuckling. We both are great fans of Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett, Robert Asprin and the like, so I'm thinking I will enjoy this new adventure that you've led me to. I'm wondering as to why a mainstream publishing house hasn't snapped it up as of yet? You've a completely unique concept, something that is sadly lacking on the book shelves these days.”
“I'm really enjoying the book, one of the best things I've read all year, though I get a few funny looks at work when I'm chuckling to myself. One disturbing moment happened, as I read about bananas mysteriously appearing, a woman in the office started panicking, because she had eaten her banana 2 hours early (apparently, you should only eat a banana at 2.30PM, not sure why, but she says that's the only time you should eat one), and then had another panick when she discovered that she had packed herself two bananas, which she never does and this caused her whole day to go badly (apparently, though I couldn't see how, as she just sat at her desk day dreaming like she usually does). I had come to the conclusion a long time ago that she was bananas, but I think she may have got worse, and it was rather worrying that this all happened at the same time I read about bananas appearing mysteriously throughout the house.”
“Well it's been sunny here today and I got a chance to sit outside for a while and read (whilst my daughter was indoors destroying the house, but hey reading is important).Well the doorbell and the remote control incident nearly made me piss myself, my daughter then came and asked why I was laughing so loudly and that was the airplane safety demonstration. That's about as far as I have got but very good at the moment.”
“I hope you are writing a sequel. I desperately need to know what Bogg did to the Lords of Magic.”
“I've been passing your book round the tiny state of Vermont, soon everyone will have read it, no, not really, but around 6 people so far. My friends are always looking for the next great sci fi/fantsy writer and I've heard nothing but praise thus far!! "He should write another one" they scream. Seriously, I've read it twice. But I do tend to be a bit obsessive with my reading (Hitchikers is going on aprox. 6002 times, jk, but close).”
“I was surprised to find upon reading your book exerpt and synopsis how humorous (synopsis) yet interestingly suspenseful (exerpt) your story is. I think it's a great idea, well written, and that we all could benefit from a little more humor in our reading. Take care!”
“I have just started reading your book, "Bogg", today (I purchased it on Amazon.com, in case your other friends need to find it). I know it is going on my Terry Pratchet/ Douglas Adams shelf. Very funny. It's like a Discworld novel with all five members of "The Three Stooges" in the lead roles. I especially enjoy "The Mysterious Stranger".”
“You are very funny in a world that is in a humor drought, and I'm glad you're in it.”
“I only read books that pull me in on the first page... Will be reading yours on the strength of the prologue!!”
“May have put you as a link on my Good Books bit. Curiouser and Kairos but true now stop reading all this nonsense and finish the follow up to your fabulous BOGG!! We're all waiting...”
“NOOOoooo! It's Over! and you ended it like That! Y'bugger. and you say you haven't finished the follow up yet...? So i have to Wait to see what happens next! Tinker. Excellent Book Maestro You've created an original universe, or two. Thoroughly enjoyable and addictive Now do it again!”
“a thoroughly enjoyable... i'm gonna use the word 'Romp'. All life therin. excellent book mate. so, you finished the follow up yet or What!?”
About The Book Of Bogg:
Alone in his patrol ship in a part of the galaxy he shouldn’t be and surrounded by alien warships, Cadet Bogg thinks long and hard before making a decision. His action has repercussions that spread far beyond his limited imagination and it will ultimately decide the fate of the Earth. The leader of the alien fleet is not amused. Oblivious to this (not that he would care anyway) is a Dwarf Woodcutter who hates people at the best of times but now finds he is reluctantly trying to save a Princess from a particularly nasty two-headed, two-personality Ogre. He would rather stay at home. A Mysterious Stranger in black who seems to have a mysterious grudge against the Dwarf and a dislike for bananas also follows him. Meanwhile, a Dwarf Detective with acute paranoia has just become involved in a rebel plan to return an heiress to her throne after a military dictator has deposed her. He is disturbed by the presence of Mexican guitarists in his lift. The three Boggs are completely unaware of each other’s existence but become inextricably linked in a struggle to prevent the imminent alien invasion of Earth…and not one of them has even the faintest idea of what’s going on.
You can see more about the book and buy a signed copy at: .... www.Boggthedwarf.com .... but here's a sneaky preview of the prologue for you in which Space Cadet 908154Bogg gives us a lesson on how to obey orders and improve intergalactic diplomatic relations... or not...:
“DON’T TOUCH THE BUTTON.”
The transmission was concise and clear from mission control. There was no static from the space receiver. Concise and clear.
“DON’T TOUCH THE BUTTON.”
It broke the silence and the loneliness felt from being far from home in the outer borders of the quadrant. All alone. There were only three thousand warships in view of the vid-screens to keep him company, poised with laser cannons and aiming in his direction.
“DON’T TOUCH THE BUTTON.”
The voice repeated the instruction. In just those words it said ‘you don’t know what you are doing. We are the experts and we will guide you through this.’
“DON’T TOUCH THE BUTTON.”
The voice from high command had passed through millions of parsecs of space in a trillisecond to be with him. It was a voice of calmness. The four words said ‘do as we say and everything will be fine.’ The words seemed to implore him not to do the thing they thought he was thinking of doing because it was dangerous and besides, they didn’t think he knew what the hell he was doing. He didn’t. He wasn’t even supposed to be there.
“DON’T TOUCH THE BUTTON.”
Concise and clear. The tone was unmistakeable. The tone of a direct order from a senior officer. Cadet patrolman 908154BOGG pressed the button.
Copyright � 2002 Andrew Attias. All rights reserved.
Or buy my book from .... Amazon .... if you really want to (and you know you do, don't you!)
From the mouths of babes...
As a writer, words are important to me, especially those spoken by our children. That is why I am particularly proud of the wonderful keepsake book for children's words that my wife has lovingly created. If you have children and want to cherish the magical words and phrases they come out with, if you want to chart how their words progress and let them remember them in years to come, I recommend you visit her website .... www.violetfullmoon.com ....