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Mullets

About Me

“Wang dang sweet poontang!” Ace howled, as if the ghost of ..3 had just hit the checkered flag, when the acid-washed goddess walked through the steel re-enforced door to Ted’s Bar & Grill on that hot summer night. Her bleach blonde hair was at maximum volume—just like the classic tunes blaring from the jukebox. Her name was Jane (don’t wear it out). The custom design work of her Beadazzled tank top glistened and sparkled hotter than the lights on the “Monster Bash” pinball machine in the corner.“Do ya want the Ace?” he asked himself—practicing his signature pick-up line in the Stroh’s promotional mirror behind the pool table. Ace knew this was his lucky night. This was more than a feeling. Or maybe it was just because it was dollar draft night. It didn’t matter.He remembered his stepfather’s mantra: “Any lucky night’s gotta end with gettin’ lucky, otherwise you are just S.O.L.” No, it wasn’t like the poetry of Eddie Money, but still, the message got through like a 2 a.m. page begging for a beer run to the 7-11.A wide grin broke out beneath Ace’s moustache. He had it all: a steady union paycheck, a decent relationship with his landlord, and now he was on his way to score a ticket to the hottest show in town since the last Foghat reunion. He was psyched. As the saying goes— Beauty comes in many shapes and sizes and, like hairstyles, only one is truly right for you.He was burnin’ for Jane. And not the bad kind of burnin’ that sometimes comes after a night like this. The good kind that comes from somewhere deep within your mesh half-shirt. He smoothed his freshly shorn sides, yanked up the mega-gelled spikes in front, and petted the back like a fine crushed velvet interior. He pounded the rest of his PBR and ordered another—just under the wire before the happy hour ended.Baby hold on…Their romance started to fast forward like cars whipping around the track at full throttle, except there was no time for a pit stop in this race of love. The tilt-a-whirl weekends spent at the repo auto shows. The greasy weeknights spent together “checkin’ out the moon” at his buddy Buck’s farm. Life was just a fantasy, but can you live this fantasy life? Sooner or later, love bites like cousin Rick’s pet Boa Constrictor, but who could suck out this venomous poison? Like any built-for-speed hot rod, eventually, the rims get a little ragged, the pistons don’t fire like they used to, and the gas tank starts suckin’ fumes.Love stinks. Love hurts…Then came the fateful day when Jane was spotted taking it on the run on the back of Buck’s chopper like some cheap trick. Ace wanted to close his eyes forever, but all he saw was red. His heart felt like his leather jacket the time he caught it on a barbed wire fence after almost getting busted cow tipping. The flame in his soul was doused like when his Bruce Lee inspirational candle accidentally fell in the toilet.There was nothing he could say, it WAS a total eclipse of the heart, and it totally bummed him out. Nothing felt right anymore, not even his favorite snakeskin Dingos. The drink specials at Ted’s weren’t so special anymore. The drive thru window at Jack-In-The-Box was somehow lonelier when ordering for just one. The shotgun seat in his Quad Cab—Jane’s seat—started to pile up with empty deer jerky wrappers and Mega Gulp cups. Ace was all out of love and all by himself.The only solace he could find was in the knowledge that, even when the chips are stacked against him, at least his hair always looked friggin’ awesome. And it is that knowledge that once again gave him the cajones to get back in the game and try this love thing one more time.The rest, as they say, is history. And at one time or another, this is OUR history. And this is OUR soundtrack. Turn it up. Throw it back. And fall in LOVE. Again. Before we all just end up dust in the wind.

My Interests

Music:

Member Since: 27/02/2007
Band Website: www.legacyrecordings.com/mulletsrock
Band Members: mullet (mül - lit) n., pl. mullet or mul - lets. 1. Any of various stout-bodied, edible fishes of the family Mugilidae. 2. Any haircut in which the back is noticeably longer than the hair on the top and sides. See also Larmoose. Other terms for the mullet: 7 (the shape of the number), 10-90 (percentage ratios of hair on top versus hair in back), yep/nope, achy-breaky, bi-level, business in the front—party in the back, beaver paddle, ape drape, squirrel pelt, Camaro cut, El-Camino, IROC (often mistaken for the I ROCK), hockey head, soccer rocker, Canadian passport, Kentucky waterfall, Missouri compromise, Tennessee tophat, mudflap (or Michigan mudflap), long-i-tude, neckwarmer (or neck blanket), ranchero, safety cut, shlong (short+long), shag shorty-longback, the backpack, the sphinx, the caveman, yin/yang, backstage pass, the duck and cover, the black to the phuture, Cape Fear.
Influences: IN AN AGE when Bad Hair has become a global spectator sport, no hairstyle has quite attracted the fascination that the Mullet has. Short in the front, long in the back, this bi-level phenomenon is now a beloved symbol of trailer-park tastelessness.What is often forgotten is that Mulletheads have peerless musical taste ­ a point made beautifully by this ace anthology of stonking hard rockers from the '70s and '80s.Grounded in the greasy blues-rock rifferama of Mountain and Foghat, Mullet Rock as a genre evolved through titans Toto and Ted Nugent to climax in the streamlined AOR anthems of Journey and Foreigner. (The Mullet itself became the hairstyle du jour for several of the acts featured here ­ Journey's Steve Perry, Loverboy's Mike Reno, REO Speedwagon's Kevin Cronin among them.)But here's the real point: with a Mullet, headbanging to such timeless riffs as "Smoke On The Water" and "Rock and Roll Hoochie Coo" is so much less bothersome. Your hair doesn't get in your eyes, but it stills looks way-bodacious in the back."Once it was easy to tell a music act by its hair," wrote Mimi Pond in her 1998 book Splitting Hairs. "Long hair ­ rock. Short hair ­ square. These days, with the music industry exploding with all kinds of sounds, it's hard to tell who's on who's side."Today's Mullethead knows there are no "sides" ­ just different lengths.Rock on!Barney Hoskyns Co-author, The Mullet: Hairstyle of the Gods (Bloomsbury)
Sounds Like: SIDE PSYCHED 01. Wang Dang Sweet Poontang (Ted Nugent) 02. Do Ya (Ace Frehley) 03. More Than A Feeling (Boston) 04. I Just Want To Make Love To You (Foghat) 05. Baby Hold On (Eddie Money) 06. Jane (Jefferson Starship) 07. Fantasy (Aldo Nova) 08. Burnin' For You (Blue Oyster Cult) 09. I Hate Myself For Loving You (Joan Jett & the Blackhearts) 10. Love Stinks (J. Geils Band) SIDE BUMMED 11. Love Hurts (Nazareth) 12. The Flame (Cheap Trick) 13. Take It On The Run (REO Speedwagon) 14. Sister Christian (Night Ranger) 15. Total Eclipse Of The Heart (Bonnie Tyler) 16. Don't Know What You Got (Till it's Gone) (Cinderella) 17. Tuesday's Gone (Lynryd Skynrd) 18. Dust In The Wind (Kansas)
Record Label: Legacy Recordings
Type of Label: Major

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