The details of my life are quite inconsequential.... very well, where do i begin?......
A premature birth, I was born into this world sporting a full beard and a Bobby charlton style comb-over. My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
I'm currently studying law at the University of Glamorgan, I hope to qualify soon and begin my contract - roll on I say. In my spare time I enjoy playing guitar and play for Lucky Delucci (above, www.myspace.com/luckydelucci). Any other questions, general queries or wonderings, then just ask baby!
