[ERICA]

Aboot Me
if you have five seconds to spare . . .
...then I'll tell you the story of my life.
Hey there, kids!
My name is ERICA and I'm a Gay. Homo. Carpet muncher. I enjoy long walks on the beach, candlelit dinners, watching the sunset, and kicking people in the face.
Okay, how many people actually read these things? Raise your hands. And how do I tell you who I am if even I'm not sure?
THE MIND
For starters, ERICA is not Hispanic or Asian... duh. Her hobbies include breathing and blinking. She's quite charming and ribbed for your pleasure, but her friends will tell you she is krayzee, sexy, cool.
Her view on life uses humor as a lens. She believes the children are our future. She believes two wrongs don't make a right, but two lefts make a U-turn. She believes toilet paper flaps should go over the roll, not under. She's skeptical about who shot Kennedy. She loves to eat.
ERICA's mentality is pathetically stuck in the 80s, yet she longs to be tragically hip. She LOVES music, but most rap is not included in that love. In other words, ERICA WITHOUT MUSIC IS LIKE CORNFLAKES WITHOUT THE MILK.
THE BODY
ERICA longs for the day when hot bods come in pill form. During her fun-filled escapades, she seeks out the true meaning of life. Sometimes she'll feel that certain "calling" deep down in her soul....
but then she'll let voicemail pick it up.
She's not ashamed that she likes gay porn or that she thinks everyone is gay. And if ERICA does or says something that touches just one person, then her talent for making a difference has not gone to waste.
IF SHE COULD ONLY STOP WASTING TIME TOUCHING HERSELF, NOW THAT WOULD REALLY MAKE A DIFFERENCE!
ERICA doesn't generally refer to herself in the third person, but it amuses her once in a while. She also loves deleting peeps from her MySpace if they don't keep in touch. That said...
You can hate her or unfriend her all you like... she'll STILL be in love with you.
Have I mentioned that she's a homo?
Agree or disagree? Would you like to send ERICA fan mail, hate mail, or donations? Or, would you simply like to get edukated? Then write to her here , bitches. She shall then teach you. Oh what the hell, here's a free lesson, just for kicks:
YOU'RE is a contraction which means "you are" and YOUR is the possessive form of "you" - Example: "YOU'RE as dumb as YOUR mom."
It's not that hard, folks.