Jon Byrne - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Sometimes i'm cool.

Myspace Layouts - Myspace Editor

My Interests

Texas Hold'em, Badass Indie Rock, Watching Redskins games, Trying to be a Shitty Version of Dave Eggers and David Berman put together, Regarding my own death as a total bummer, Hanging out with my GF (she's a nice lady), Satirizing ass-clowns and/or douche-whores with my irreverent wit, Peeing in the butts of strangers, no matter if i know them or not.

I'd like to meet:

Joe Sanderson's babeishly hot sister, and everyone who used to live here but doesn't anymore. Those were some cool folks, them folks who used to live here. In fact, if you're reading this and we used to eat lunch together but don't anymore on account of you moving far away, return to me now. Lunch can be again. There can always be more lunches.

Music:

Built to Spill, Modest Mouse, Pavement, Dismemberment Plan, The Silver Jews, Neutral Milk Hotel, Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks, Bright Eyes, The Mountain Goats, Spoon, The Hold Steady, The Replacements, The National, Harvey Danger (first two albums only), The Arcade Fire, LCD Soundsystem, Elliot Smith, Iron and Wine (Mostly Just The Creek Drank the Cradle), Okkervil River, Guided By Voices, Pixies, Pedro the Lion, Daniel Johnston, The Constantines, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Sufjan Stevens, Wilco, Wolf Parade, The Islands, Aesop Rock. Basically, I'm a pitchforkmedia whore.

Movies:

Forrest Gump, Rushmore, Scream, Indiana Jones, Pulp Fiction, Braveheart, The Big Lebowski, Kicking and Screaming (from 1995, not about soccer), Magnolia, 12 Monkeys, What's Eating Gilbert Grape, The Squid and the Whale, Groundhog Day, Dark City.

Television:

The Wonder Years, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Dawson's Creek (season 1 and 2 only), The Simpsons (circa: a few years ago), Family Guy, High Stakes Poker, Arrested Development, Pardon the Interruption (mostly for Tony Kornheiser and Dan Le Batard), Quantum Leap, Big Love, Freaks and Geeks, The Muppet Babies.

Books:

Dave Eggers, David Berman, Kurt Vonnegut Jr., Mark Twain

Heroes:

Bill Murray, Dave Eggers, Doug Martsch, Isaac Brock, Kurt Vonnegut Jr., Louis C.K., John Goodman, and David Berman.

My Blog

So i saw this girl get hit by this van...

So today i am walking home from class, right next to campus, when i see this girl on a bike up ahead of me totally get hit by/totally run into this mini-van. When it happens, i hear this weird l...
Posted by Jon Byrne on Fri, 26 Oct 2007 11:44:00 PST

The Perils of Time Travel

I had to do a slam poem for class, which is, i guess, simply a poem you deliver out loud, in person, and with enthusiasm. Here is what i said in front of my class. P.S. I borrowed (stole) a Silve...
Posted by Jon Byrne on Fri, 27 Oct 2006 04:46:00 PST

Kathy Griffin (stand-up comedian) vs. Jon Byrne (all around awesome guy)

So for years I've always said: "I hate Kathy Griffin Stand-up" and I've always meant it. But in the last two days, I've watched like 4 hours of her comedy, specifically my life on the d-li...
Posted by Jon Byrne on Wed, 22 Feb 2006 11:55:00 PST

My Favorite Songs From My Favorite Bands.

So I've been thinking lately. What are my favorite songs from over the years from my favorite bands? I didn't include any of the hippie rock i used to listen to (Zach, i know that you will take ...
Posted by Jon Byrne on Sat, 10 Dec 2005 07:49:00 PST

3 Poems that are unimaginatively similar

Opposites Attractthe refrigerator fell through the floor todayand landed on my catsome praised the appliancefor its speed and accuracy,others for its descentsome said both their times had comeand so d...
Posted by Jon Byrne on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Another old poem/ I'm a douche

Flexi-Flyer sleds and Something about a HaircutDuring december hell froze over like a hockey rinkso i made a snow angel there,the irony of this was so thick and non-sequiturthat the event began cuttin...
Posted by Jon Byrne on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

either/or

so for halloween i went as elliott smith and i had a fake knife in my heart and a sign indicating i was elliot smith. some people thought it was funny/cool some people thought i was the worst person i...
Posted by Jon Byrne on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

I have just watched a full season of D-Creek in 5 days and boy are my arms tired

Dawsons creek is legit. I love the balls out of it-------Its killing me, in the last 5 days its sent me on an emotional rollercoaster like none other. Today Kemp and I cried together during the se...
Posted by Jon Byrne on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

here is an old poem ( iknowimaprickforputtingtheseup)

im still kinda bummed about my computer crashing and me losing tons of my shit---so heres an old one that i still remember. the dead in the earth spin thread into dirt but don't know where the p...
Posted by Jon Byrne on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

my first mine

this is my first blog entry...it kinda feels like a live journal entry, anywho. I dont have anything to write about. ill post a story i wrote or something later... well thats it im out. If anyon...
Posted by Jon Byrne on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST