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Tearing the Veil from Grace

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About Me


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We, who not deny the animal of our nature. We, who yearn to preserve our liberation. We, who face darkness in our hearts with a solemn fire. We, who aspire to the truth and pursue its strength. [Progenies Of The Great Apocalypse by Dimmu Borgir]*Most importantly* **People are often the source of much of my dislikes... However...some thing I cannot and will not accept is homophobia. If you start talking to me about how I will burn in hell for being gay then I will block you and that's the end of that. I can't stand it, it's pathetic and should be outlawed for all I care. It brings our society down, all of this nonsensical hate.**I am not like most people. Most people I have met are afraid of the truth. They run towards lies, which makes them vulnerable because they become easily deceived. I don't hide behind any religion because I accept my responsibility in the world. I make what I want out of this life. Yes, I have gone through some hard times, but I've learned through those experiences and have grown further. I have the ability to make people feel better with little effort, even strangers. I'm a writer, and that's why I always carry a notebook and pen with me wherever I go. Music is so beautiful to me. I hate seeing people in pain, especially when they don't deserve it. The ones who should be suffering never do pay the price. I don't try to be unique. I just am. I always stand out in the crowd, whether I want to or not, it doesn't matter in the slightest bit. Life is one big story to me. It has its beautiful moments, and it has its terribles phases too. How can one appreciate pleasure if one never experiences pain? I specialize in horror/gothic and lesbian/gay writing. It mostly includes short stories and novels, as well as poetry. After OCCC I plan to transfer to Purchase with a creative writing major. The one closest to my heart is the first person in my list of friends here. She knows me better than anyone else and it's going to stay that way. I don't want anyone else but her. I don't care what other people might say anymore. I've learned that it doesn't matter what others say about me. I'm going to be who I am despite the insecure people around me. When I feel overwhelmed I just need to think of Rain and I know I will be okay. I find it hard to trust people, actually I hate it but I still do it because...well...I guess it's for the best?
LIVEJOURNAL: http://raven-delajour.livejournal.com/

My Interests

CHECK OUT MY WRITING :D It's my life!


Vampire Rave:) Rain, writing, friends+family, reading, anime, listening to music at full blast, concerts, B&W photography, guitar, viola, blood and gore movies+literature, animals, vampires, mushrooms!, life and death, fire, pain, bondage, handcuffs, gothic girls, vampire erotica, boots, biting, The L Word, kissing, traveling, learning, science, philosophy, compassion, empathy, support, biking, running, swimming, hiking, tattoos, piercings, *helping out others*.DISLIKES: Ignorance, close minded people, rape, sexual abuse, animal abuse, religion, public school, the mass media, vivisection, racism, homophobia, slaughter houses, ignorance, MTV, labels, when people talk to you like they know exactly what you're going through. X_x-Messengers- MSN: [email protected] Yahoo: fragile_spiral99 [And the messenger which cannot be typed]Raven DeLajour..[In A Dark Place] My skin is on fire as I sit here playing with my toyIt has a beautiful edge to it, a blade like no otherThe blood that has been spilled with it drips down my armWhich is the very reason I feel so alive right nowMy own blood is coursing through my veins in a rushThe warmth flows through my body and envelops me in calmIt keeps me safe and it harbors away the sinister demonsThey beckon my call and tempt me with a promising futureMaking me wish that they were true in the physical worldAnd not just some desirable thoughts in the pit of my mindIt makes me want to scream, to pluck them out of existenceMy teeth bared, I make another incision on my left thighLeaving a trail of blood behind it and making me feel highI watch as my precious toy bathes my pale skin in crimson redAs I feel the demons trying to devour me whole with rageThe shaking is inevitable, the tears now redundantThe demons are provoking me with their filthy black magicThey want me to break down and to give in to the sinTo go wild and watch my eyes scream out in blood lustDeath is what they want, and they want to see it allThe shock, the tears, the pleading, the blood, the goreI am just their servant and I dare to languish like a whore!Shame is prevalent inside of me, but it isn't enough to stop themI am weak and I will never be able to win this waging warIncensed, I throw the knife across the darkened room in despairMy fingers wipe away at the bleeding cut on my thigh carefullyUntil there is enough for me to feed on anxiously in deep wantThe blood is familiar, the flavor almost bland to my tongueI have been using my blood to substitute the never ending lustThe craving for the sweet liquid that heightens day by dayMy time is running out, I know that I will need to kill soonIn a matter of time I will be forced away from my solitudeDropped among the horde of humans, I will hunt my preyAnd shortly after become my own worst enemy ~Written by me~

I'd like to meet:

My favorite authors who inspire me creatively...as well as some musicians. Anyone who isn't afraid to be themselves and accepts the truth. I don't want to meet close minded people who can't tolerate differences and who will talk to down to people with beliefs that differ from their own. Racist, homophobic, sexist, extremely religious, and narcissistic people who add more negativity to the world piss me off. Blah blah blah...enough of that. I'd like to meet other people who poke fun at my bad grammar even though I'm an English major. :) Fellow writers, artists, creative people filled with passion.

Music:

..Music is one of the best things in my life, and I hold it close to me always :) I love all kinds of music but I especially love it when it has meaning and so much passion. I know it will always be there for me, just like my writing has. I love way too many bands and artists. I've seen several artists/bands! Skinny Puppy, Combichrist, Modulate, Imperative Reaction, Otep, Psyclon Nine, Marazene, Dark Funeral, Ngalfar, Kittie (twice), In This Moment (twice), Rob Zombie, Static-X, Adema, All That Remains, The Birthday Massacre, Drowning Pool, Nonpoint.Dark Angel (POEM BY ME)I remember so well the first night in which I saw him I was laying on the ground with the knife in my hand The cuts covered almost every inch of my skin There was misery inside of me, stuck so deep within I tried giving myself hope, a way to survive Yet all I received in return were tears and bruises My mom didn't want to hear a single word I spoke She was too busy hating me for my father's sins Secretly denying the abuse that I relived every night But right there in the forest, I was going to give up my fight Until I saw the beautiful man dressed in black His cloak draped over his head, falling down to his feet I thought he was going to hurt me too, all the way to my core Bracing myself for the unjust pain, I shut my eyes But he didn't hurt my body or wound my soul Instead he wrapped his arms around me and held me tight Whispered into my ear, everything is going to be all right My stomach heaved and I gasped for air, panicking As I felt something stir inside of me, eager to get out I gagged and vomited on the forest floor Watching in surprise as this black mass spilled out of my lips You are cleansed now, he said in a serene, smooth voice He stood up and held me tight in his strong arms As I quietly stared back into his glimmering, defiant eyes They were the color of fire, yet as cold as ice I know what they do to you, he whispered slowly Together, we can teach them a lesson that will forever alter them I looked at him, frightened, not knowing what to do Sensing my hesitation, he set me down and took my hand No need to be afraid, no one will know the damage I couldn't speak to him, as hard as I tried to answer his offering My cuts were distracting me as they bled profusely The blood spilled down my arms without mercy Forcing me to moan in excruciating pain at the stings He didn't say a word as he grabbed both of my arms with his hands I had no idea what he was doing, but then the pain began to fade It forced me to look at my arms and gasp in surprise My cuts were gone, no longer visible under the moonlight I looked up at him and whispered, why? He just smiled under his cloak and never answered me We began to walk toward my house, slowly without a hurry The silence covered us like a blanket, until we reached the house I could hear my father laughing with my mother right next to him For the first time in my life, I felt an anger so raw and pure It forced me to tighten my hand around the small knife I still had With a tiny chuckle, he took a step back into the darkness As I heard him calmly say, ladies go first

Movies:

All types. Comedy, horror, drama, thriller, action, romantic, sci fi,and so on...It's really hard for me to dislike a movie! X_x Everyone hail Sheri Moon Zombie!!!..
SuicideKiss.com - Deadly pictures, gothic horror, sick layoutsMy Fantasy, Your Nightmare (POEM BY ME)I'm a self possessed demon devoted to the nightI drain everything around me from its lightI crawl in places that are too dark for youUnlit alleys that hold no name, that's where I roamI call for you while you are sleepingEntombed in the world of dreams, vulnerable just for meIt is the perfect time to play with you, my little toyCan't you see the excitement on my wretched faceThe daggers I am holding, the sweet sin that I am inhaling?I enter your mind smoothly without the slightest bit of troubleYour mind is so pure, it attracts me like no other thingMy entrance is accepted foolishly by youYou think that this is just another fake reality, a dreamI'm about to prove to you that this is anything but a fabricationPerhaps torturous, maybe horrible, but definitely realI see you wandering around a dilapidated houseNo sense of direction, no control over your movementsI smile in anticipation as I watch you, delighted at your naive natureMy pace is slow as I approach you, I don't rush my attackI want to feel the fear oozing out of you once you know I am nearOnce I'm a couple of inches away from your back, you stopYou sense that something is terribly wrongI am holding my dagger tightly around the bladeForcing the blood to seep out of my pale handIt drips down the floor and makes an eerie soundDrip, drip, drip, you hear in apprehensionAs you slowly turn around and face a monster stripped from lightI cock my head to the side as your eyes enlarge in panicYou know that there's nothing right about my disturbing auraTrying to flee from my side, you begin to runBut innocently trip over the rug on the wooden floorA chuckle escapes my lips as I crouch down to youTrying to leave, I say, before we have even begun our fun?I bring the dagger above me and wait for your reactionI want to see your eyes brimming with hopelessness and despairYou turn around, shaking, and scream once you see the daggerIt plummets down to your torso, where it sinks in right above your navelYou shriek in terror, not knowing what to do as the adrenaline turns onYour body is motionless, your brain frigid with the shockI quickly take out the dagger and watch as the blood begins to escapeYour viscera vulnerable to the outside world nowBy now, you're moaning in your sleep, turning over on the bedYou want to wake up, remind yourself that this is just a dreamI wipe the blade clean with your fresh blood on my handIts intoxicating scent filling my mind with pure desireYour blood and my blood mix, creating a delicious mixtureMy tongue licks away every single drop until there's none leftIt is so good, I want to have more of this undeniable sinI know that you are weak, though, and that you deserve some restBefore you wither away completely and have nothing leftSo I disappear into the shadows, release you from anguishI watch as you wake up in apprehension and confusionSmirking, I return to the shadows and let you beUntil the next time that we meetWhen I will take another piece of your soulAnd claim it as my own

Television:

.. I don't like watching television much, but I do love some shows! I m obsessed with The L Word!!! XD I also like Queer As Folk, Ghost Hunters, Scrubs, Family Guy, The Simpsons, Adult Swim^-^ And of course anime! Hellsing, Vampire Hunter D, Escaflowne, Card Captors, Blood: The Last Vampire, Love Hina, Angel Sanctuary.

Books:

As a writer myself, I would hope I have read at least a couple of books here and there ;) Horror, sci-fi, paranormal, vampires, fairies, serial killers. Pretty much everything. My favorite authors include H.P. Lovecraft, Edgar Allan Poe, J.K. Rowling, Robert Cormier, Laurell K. Hamilton, Marilyn Manson, Kevin Brooks, Joyce Carrol Oates, Neil Gaiman, Clive Barker, Friedrich Nietzsche, Bertrand Russell, Richard Dawkins, Chuck Palahniuk. I'll keep adding more to this list.Psyclone Nine "Parasitic" Fetid simulation of this wretched congregation Disciples of the fallen and the heretic will riseNarcissistic nation Severed tongues of blind dictation The serpent spoke this unto me through gilded light and lunacyTaste the fury That feed the devils inside Fueled by torment, Sin, sex, sickness and prideParasite submission Parasitic condition Parasite slave culture Parasite it's over

Heroes:

Waking NightmareEvery night I wake up to the same nightmareThe bed is soiled crimson red with bloodWhile the walls scream out in terrible vainThe voices are horrible and fill me with anguishThey want help, but how can I offer them relief?When I can't even control my own dreams!The painful reality is far too grim for me to acceptI am the lover of blood and the deliverance of deathMy dreams painting a scene that I furiously detestI am no murderer, I am not a monster or a thingI deny my existence as a cold blooded killerThe truth is too ugly for me to acknowledgeSo I filter my mind with other innocent thoughtsOnes that deceive others of my real state of mindYou see, I don't kill with knives or any fancy instrumentAll I have to do is silence them with my tongueWords can cut deeper than a blade, if done correctlySomething I have practiced to the point of perfectionThe pain that I hide inside is hollow and deepYet it transcends to others in a way I cannot imagineIt brings them onto their knees in front of me!As if I hold the key behind all the secrets of the worldWhich is why the dreams taunt me to the edgeThe world of self destruction is within my graspIf only I can embrace my dreams and forget the past [RAVEN]

My Blog

So it shall be done.

Progenies Of The Great Apocalypse The battle raged on and on Fueled by the venom of hatred for man Consistently, without the eyes to see By those who revel in sewer equally We, the prosperity of the ...
Posted by Tearing the Veil from Grace on Sun, 27 Apr 2008 11:12:00 PST

WHO READS MY BLOGS?!

I'll find out...sooner or later. Muahahahahaha! 3,221 views so far...I've had this profile for less than a year...OMG LOL!...
Posted by Tearing the Veil from Grace on Sun, 27 Apr 2008 06:19:00 PST

Want some negativity?

I hate it hereI want to leave now...I hate Newburgh, NYI can't wait to go to PurchaseI despise the people hereI hate stupid peopleI hate rich peopleI want everyone dumb to know that knowledge is the s...
Posted by Tearing the Veil from Grace on Sat, 26 Apr 2008 01:15:00 PST

BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS

So many good books out!!! So many awesome authors!!! In my life time yay!!! Happy Nessa...I got the new Clive Barker book!!! It's a horror one YES I LOVE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH. (Yeah I'm a nerd and I lo...
Posted by Tearing the Veil from Grace on Fri, 25 Apr 2008 01:28:00 PST

New NIN single

http://www.nin.comDownload it!
Posted by Tearing the Veil from Grace on Fri, 25 Apr 2008 06:52:00 PST

I piss me off

Today has been icky. I feel weird and wrong. I think it's because it has to do with me pondering whether to go away to college or stay here. It seems like I always go back on my word and let others do...
Posted by Tearing the Veil from Grace on Thu, 24 Apr 2008 02:28:00 PST

I think Im going to cry

I enjoyed reading this. It was long, but yet I finished it. I, too was born a Catholic, that I wasn't into it at all. I came to know Jesus Christ when my brother died in 1994. We started going to an ...
Posted by Tearing the Veil from Grace on Thu, 24 Apr 2008 09:14:00 PST

No

I don't want...I don't want to be a sex symbolI don't want to be accepted by everyoneI don't want to conform to your perfect standardsI don't want to live a fake lifeI don't want to waste my time on t...
Posted by Tearing the Veil from Grace on Thu, 24 Apr 2008 08:32:00 PST

Moving out soon

Rain and I are planning to get an apartment down the road...it's being pushed a little closer because there are a lot of fucking assholes in the world, but you already knew that. She's going to save u...
Posted by Tearing the Veil from Grace on Wed, 23 Apr 2008 08:30:00 PST

Earth Day and Day of Silence

Two cool days...even though I have both always in my mind, it's nice to see others taking action and considering better ways to tell people that destroying the earth is not good for anyone and that be...
Posted by Tearing the Veil from Grace on Tue, 22 Apr 2008 06:43:00 PST