I'm not as tall as I'd like to be. I obsess about it. Sometimes I wish I could become surgically taller, like in the movie "Gattaca." Other times I wish I could just have really, really big hair without being made fun of, just so that I'd appear taller.I like chicks with mullets. Dudes with mullets are weird.I like soups with strange, unknown things in them.I like badminton. I like tattoos. I like badminton players with tattoos.I wish girls would pay a little less attention to my ass. It has been pinched, pulled, swatted and smacked, tickled, patted, and grabbed. Once, a girl tried to put her middle finger somewhere near my nether-regions. I socked her before I knew what I was doing. She forgave me.I wish the Mariners would stop sucking. I hope the Yankees continue sucking.I get a juvenile kick out of words with other, hidden bad words in them. Think "cockatoo." Or "Shiitake."I admire e.e. cummings. I do not admire parents who number their children.I have a dry sense of humor.I may have taken your mom out on a date.I sometimes lick your glass before I fill it for you, just to see if you'll notice.I, too, love lamp.GO SEAHAWKS!!
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