Sir David Ranney hails from London, England. In 1994 he came to America with nothing but a drum set. One day he was hungover in the lobby of his Seattle hotel when he saw Nick McGregor wailing on the guitar playing Fat Bottomed Girls while making out with two girls at the same time. Sir David, impressed that Nick could make out with two girls while singing better than Freddie Mercury took Nick to his hotel room (where he had two chicks of his own) and they jammed all night.
Flesh Sausage was born.
They made their first demo tape that night and three days later we're signed to a multi-million dollar record deal with David Geffen.
"The first thing I did when we got paid was finally get my penis circumcised." Sir David remembers. "I knew from that day forth, I would be using it a lot.... and I have."
The duo immediately went on tour selling out arenas all across the United States, headlining for bands like Guns and Roses, Cannibal Corpse, and Designer Drugs. Their first allbum, Kill Your Parents, went triple platinum within a week.
"For me, it didn't really sink in until girls started asking me to sign their tits." McGregor says.
After their first successful European tour Sir David was ready to continue by playing an Arts and Music festival in Rio De Janero, however McGregor broke his hand punching his girlfriend in the mouth. Flesh Sausage had to cancel their whole South American tour, forcing angry fans to riot.
McGregor felt terrible, so during his personal vacation he went down to Brazil and had sex with six women at the same time just to make it up to them for canceling the tour.
In 1996 Flesh Sausage unveiled their second album Flaming Labia. Unfortunately it didn't have the success of their first album. They only sold 3,000 copies. McGregor took it personally. "I noticed that the women I was having sex with were only having sex with me because I have a big penis and I'm sexy, not because I was shredding on the guitar." McGregor told Rolling Stone Magazine. Sir David took a month off and left his Hollywood mansion to return home to England, meanwhile McGregor rekindled an old cocaine habit. By the time Sir David returned back to the U.S. McGregor had already written six new songs that would be released on Artery Chop. When asked why he was so motivated, McGregor replied, "The cocaine helped. I don't think I could have come up with such creative songs if I was snorting lines of coke twice a day."
Artery Chop sold 500,000 copies the first day it hit stores.. No more than a week later they kicked off their "Mushroom Tip Tour" in McGregor's home town of Seattle. This is where Sir David met his first ex-wife. In an interview with Kurt Loder, Sir David tells of how he met Kate Bulksale. "At the time we were touring with Metallica and Kate knew one of their photographers so she was able to get backstage. Metallica was just finishing up their set and I was finishing off a bottle of Jack Daniels when I walked out of my dressing room where some members of the opening bands and their fans were, then I saw Nick getting head from a blonde with fake boobs. Next to him was Kate and she was showing him her new clit ring. Nick saw me and called me over to look at it. I was mesmerized. It was so shiny. As I heard the crowd of 25,000 cheering for us to come out I introduced myself, but she told me I'd better take the stage. We kicked ass that night, but at the end of the show Nick took a shit in his hand and through it into the crowd. They went nuts for it and I was afraid he'd stolen the show, but when I walked off stage she said, 'David, you were amazing.' I was in love. That night me and Nick two-timed her and she became my girlfriend. Three days later we played a show at the MGM Grand in Vegas and Kate and I got married. She went on tour with us for the next two years. Every show she would go into the crowd and find the hottest chicks to bring backstage for me and Nick to fuck. One day she brought a fat chick backstage and I divorced her."
After the "Mushroom Tip Tour" Flesh Sausage made TV appearances on shows like Saturday Night Live and MTV Movie Awards. Merchandise sales were going through the roof, but McGregor needed a break.
Equipped with 2 lbs of cocaine, he took a trip to Anchorage, Alaska and disappeared for three months. Rumors of his death circulated, women every were mailing their underwear to his Los Angeles home in hopes that he would give them a sign that he isn't dead. No response.
In September of 1998 nick woke up from a 2 day cocaine blitz and picked up the phone. He called Justin Timberlake of NSYNC and said he had a plan.
On September 20, 1998 NSYNC was scheduled to play at The Great Western Forum in Los Angeles, when it was time for them to start the show, the lights turned out. When they came back up the Flesh Sausage had taken the stage. Nick stood front and center wearing nothing but a leopard print thong and a cape. The audience full of 13 year old girls immediately began throwing their training bras on stage. During a 6 minute guitar solo, Sir David collected them and made them into a pile, then set them on fire while Flesh Sausage played the entire show. They were back.
No more than a week after Nick's return to the 48 contiguous states Flesh sausage had started touring, this time a North American tour called, "Crooked Hook Tour."
It was in Atlanta, Georgia that Sir David would meet his second ex-wife. In an interview with Spin he recalled, "We had sold out the Georgia Dome for the second night in a row and I was feeling hung over so I decided I'd mix it up a little bit. I dressed up in a batman costume and joined the 500 fans who were allowed to be on the turf right next to the stage. When Nick took the stage he began playing 'The bitch deserved it' and everyone was wondering where I was. Then I grabbed a girl from the crowd, brought her up on stage, and ripped off my costume. Then for the whole show she sat on my lap having sex with me while I played drums. That's when I met Genevieve. She was a friend of our costume designer and she was allowed to stand on the side of the stage while we played. She was so impressed that I could have sex for an entire 2 hour show that she came up to me after the show and offered me head.I finished in about 15 seconds and I knew I was in love. We got married a week later and she came on tour with us while we finished up the shows we had in Canada. About 9 months later she popped out a kid and I divorced her, I specifically remember telling her not to get pregnant."
Illegitimate kids wasn't the only problem Flesh Sausage was having. In 2001 in New York City, toward the end of the "Fred Phelps Fundraiser Tour" McGregor overdosed on a combination of heroin and cocaine. Flesh Sausage had to cancel the last show of the tour, in Topeka, Kansas because Nick was in a coma. All the drugs were finally taking their toll. Nick was in a coma for 10 months, Sir David tells of his feelings during that time, "It was scary. I smoked at least 7 packs a day, I don't think a minute went by without a cigarette being in my mouth."
June 10, 2002 Nick McGregor finally wakes up from his coma. "There I was, my eyes opened and I had no idea of what was going on. Was I hungover? Did we play a show last night? I had no idea. As I came out of it, I began to regain my senses and I looked down to the end of the bed and a nurse was giving me head. Once she realized I was awake, she got startled and immediately began apologizing, but I just told her to hurry up and finish." McGregor remembers.
Not wanting to waste any time, Mitchell Malone, their manager at the time, booked a show at the House of Blues in Anaheim. Nick did the whole show from a hospital gurney. Flesh Sausage had cheated death.
August 30, 2002 Flesh Sausage dropped the first album since Nick's coma, "I'm Not Dead, But You Should Be!" It went double platinum and won the Grammy for best album.
Sir David wanted to tour the UK, but Nick needed some time to build his immune system to avoid any future comas. While taking a break Nick was able to meet his first wife at a Los Angeles rehab center. According to McGregor, "She was the receptionist. Tall, big boobs, blonde hair. Her name was Dorothy. As a rehab graduation present Dorothy agreed to marry me at a Vegas wedding chapel. I loved her, we were married for a whole year and during that year I only had sex with one other woman a night, opposed to my usual 4. The problem was that she never wanted me to go on tour, the only tour she let me do was the 2004 UK tour and I started to get over her. One day she came home and walked into my room to see me having sex with 5 girls, she was mad. I told her she could join, but she said, 'I'd rather take the toaster in the bath than do anything for you.' The next thing I knew the power went out and Dorothy was dead in the bath tub. I had one of the girls finish me off and I sent them home and called the police."
Flesh Sausage came out with their live album and toured for a year playing 351 shows in 365 days. Making fans go crazy everywhere. They came out with a double-disc live album that became the best selling live album of all time. After the release of the live album Nick met Avril Lavigne. They had a two month long fling, which Lavigne's publicist denies that they even knew eachother, but McGregor responded by saying, "Her vagina had a guacamole taste to it."
In 2007, after 13 years of selling out arenas, Flesh Sausage continues to draw huge crowds. Sir David and Nick remain sex icons throughout the world and see no ending in sight.
Pictures from over the years
David when he got his first drumset at 3 years old
Some fan sent in a drawing of nick throwing up after a show
Nick's coke nail, Spring 2006
Feel free to check out Nick McGregor's prank calls
