[mikey bitchrunner™]

fun facts about mu-ah
1. My name is Michael
1.5 Don't call me Mike
2. At work they call me Mikey
2.5 Not Michael
3. At home they call be dumbshit
3.5 Not Mikey or Michael or Mike
4. Call me whatever you want
4.5 Just not Mike
5. I have no secrets
5.5 Because I just never stop talking
6. I am bad with names
6.5 So I give people numbers
7. I hate butt beans
7.5 Google "Garbanzo"
8. I love...kids
8.5 I love telling kids lies
9. I like to think I was raised in the Bronxz
9.5 Just for the street cred
10. I'm hardly ever disappointed
10. 5 because I expect everything to be crap
11. I was raised to stand up for myself
11.5 Even if I'm in the wrong
12. I don't do that
12.5 I give into others
13. I'm constantly seeking approval
13.5 so please love me
14. I'm a bit materialistic
14.5 Because they won't ever hurt me
15. I'm sarcastic
15.5 Can you tell?
16. I love music
16.5 But it won't return my calls
17. Taco Bell is awesome
17.5 The number 2, Grilled Stuft Burrito, with a Baja Blast
18. I haven't changed my Taco Bell order in years
18.5 Because it's so damn awesome
19. If you gotta problem with me
19.5 Take it up with my fists
20. It's like Hilary Duff always says
20.5. "Why Not?" - Hilary Duff
21. I'll take you to Funkytown
21.5 But whine and complain the whole time
22. I'm always wrong
22.5 Even if its your fault
23. I've got a heart of gold
23.5 The homelessgo crazy over my pizza
24. I'm skinny
24.5 If you don't like it, then treat me to dinner
25. I work at Gap
25.5 So I support kids in sweating in shops
26. I'm short
26.5 But tall enough to reach the cookie jar
27. I'm like ice cream
27.5 Best served chilled and with whipped cream
28.I know enough about myself
28.5 To know I wish I were somebody else
29. My voice is high pitched
29.5 Only dogs can hear me
30. I'm gay
30.5 Not a fag
31. I'm not a flamer
31.5 But i do flicker
32. Nobody ever listens to me
32.5 Except for the dogs
33. I'm opinionated
33.5 When it comes to American Idol
34. I live vicariously through celebrites
34.5 So don't make eye contact with me
35. I'm like grandma
35.5 I like to weave
36. Unlike grandma
36.5 I like to weave intricate stories
37. My heart breaks easily
37.5 But I've got lots of glue and tape laying around
38. I don't boil water
38.5 Who do you think I am, a chemist?
39. Sometimes I wish I were a hillbilly
39.5 Because then 40. I'd have an accent
41. I like popping popcorn
41.5 It holds my attention
42. I'm like a public service announcement
42.5 I try to make a point but it just doesn't work
43. I'll spin you right round like a record
43.5 But I'll spin you so hard you'll barf
44. When you say "jump"
44.5 I say a little later
45. When you say "Marco"
45.5 I say nothing
46. I'm a poorsport
46.5 I'll cut you if I lose
47. I've got a problem with acne
47.5 it still owes me $27
48. I'm like Krafts Mac and Cheese
48.5 I'm the cheesiest
49. What do Campbell's Soup and I have in common?
49.5 We're both "MMMM Good!"
50. I'm like Natalee Holloway
50.5 hard to find
51. That last one wasn't cool!
51.5 But it sure was funny
52. My dance moves are like clam chowder
52.5 Thick, chunky, and they leave you with a funny after taste
53. I'll be a slave for you
53.5 If you pay me!
54. Oops! I did it again!
54.5 And again, and again...
55. Hit me baby one more time
55.5 And I will deep fry your face
56. Sometimes I run, Sometimes I hide
56.5 Sometimes I kidnap babies and pretend I'm the old lady that lives in the shoe
57. You drive me crazy
57.5 And that's one ride I don't want to end
58. I was born to make you happy
58.5 As you can see I've set my life goals pretty low
59. If the world is ending
59.5 I'm throwing the party!
60. What do Fergie, Gwen Stefani and I have in common?
60.5 We all like S-P-E-L-L-I-N-G!
61. I ain't got no money, I ain't got no car to take you on a date
61.5 You want me to go on because theres a shit load I ain't got!
62. Moisture is the essence of wetness
62.5 And wetness is the essence of beauty
63. I can't turn left
63.5 I'm not an ambi-turner
64. Sometimes Tammy-Lee makes me do the book-keeping
64.5 When one of her decoys ODs on recreational drugs
65. I dream about a girl who's a mix of Destiny Child
65.5 With just a little pinch of Madonna's wild style
66. I don't have time for brunch
66.5 Because all I eat is lunch!
67. I hope to date a handicap because
67.5 They get a check and a good parking spot!
68. I don't know what I want?
68.5 But I do know I don't want that
69. If chapstick were currency
69.5 I'd be the richest fucking person
70. I'm not the richest fucking person
70.5 Because I spend all my money on chapstick
71. I can never keep track of time
71.5 Because time flies when you're gorgeous
72. You may hate Sarah Marshall
72.5 But she has always hated me!
73. I can't take anyone seriously
73.5 Because being serious ain't fun
74. My chick name is Ana Mission
74.5 Because I'm always on a mission
75. I'm Ana Mission
75.5 So I have your permission
76. I get fucked everyday
76.5 But by my bank!
77. If Oprah had her own line of soap
77.5 It'd be called SOPRAH
78. Some like it hot
78.5 I like it sweaty, dirty, and on the floor
79. Shopping is my drug of choice
79.5 Other than heroine
80. I have a high kicking radius
80.5 like Kourtney Kardashian
81. I care about stuff
81.5 I just don't know what
82. I'm toadally in a band
82.5 happy people with computers
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AOL Messenger: alfonzoman53
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Yahoo!: [email protected]
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