It's a funny story really. You see, it all started when Vin Diesel was marveling at the incredible but true story of his adventures in atlantis (which he discovered in his own deep sea submersible, then renamed it Funky Town and wrote a song) when he realized that in the highly unlikely event of his death (unlikely because he had just finished obsorbing the essence of 12 elder gods) there would be no one to assume control of the cosmos and maintain the constant flowing tapestry that is evolution (which doesn't exist btw, evolution is actually just a list of things that he allows to live). He began to ponder a means of procreation, the result of which could carry on his legacy. He realized right away that mating with any being would only serve to dilute his already perfect gene pool. Then, in a sudden fit of inspiriation which appeared to mortals as a large and violent explosion in downtown Munich, he came up with a plan. Rather then lowering himself to the level of primitive creatins and sharing his power in a new being, he fashioned himself a clone. Taking a bit of essence from Chuck Norris and Steaven Seagal, a dash of primordial power he obtained from the beginning of the universe (his time machine was broken so he just ran), and a single drop of his own blood (by which he obtained with a bucket and a gun) he created a man. This man could win a game of russion rulet using a flully loaded gun and all his toes were big toes. One of these toes stepped on my foot the other day. I haven't washed it since.
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