1593000 - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Ok, let's start by saying that I hate talking about myself....but what the Hell. heh heh. I think there are a gajillion things to be thankful for, and no one appreciates 'em more than lil' ol' ME! I'm a happy person and am nice to everyone I meet, but I'm also a realist and am always ready for the shit to hit the fan. Hopefully, it's on LOW at the time. I'm a great judge of character, and can see through you before you even become invisible, so try to be honest and life will remain enjoyable for everyone. Other than that, I try to laugh all day; it keeps me (in)sane, and others smiling.I like doing nothing on the weekends. I hate working, but I have a nice office with a view and I dig the vacation and overtime pay so I'll stick it out until I win the lottery. I never stop thinking and I think it's getting annoying. I love Florida but I hate Florida. I love to travel and see new places and pubs. I tend to be indecisive at times but it's only because I like everything. I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately....I haven't found it yet, but I'm staying positive. :^)Life is a comedy...NOT a drama! It's got some great jokes, lots of bad acting and even a little warmth; I only hope I don't get to the credits soon...too many cool things to accomplish first. So, get some popcorn & join me in my chuckle fest...don't forget the Goobers and please turn OFF your flippin' cell phones!! Rude bastards! :^P OH, and check out my neat-o stuff on Zazzle.com! Just click on the moving thingy below w/ the shirts on it! I think that's the technical name for it.....
MySpace Codes!..
buy unique gifts at Zazzle

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

anyone who hasn't lost their head up their own ass, Clark W. Griswold, Foghorn Leghorn, Greg Brady, Wally Amos, The D!!! (they rock my fuckin socks off ), Simon Pegg & Nick Frost so I can buy them a pint and tell them they're the coolest, SFG!, FOTC!, Corey Fucking Feldman! (CHECK), Cookie Monster, Mr. Clean, Ben & Jerry, Mr. Hershey, Dr. Pepper, Mr. Bean, Dark Helmet, Aunt Jemima, Mr. Bubble, The Brawny Guy, Ralph Parker(CHECK), Mrs. Butterworth, Fred Mertz, the first one to ever sport a mullet (genius), my clone - so I can put her ass to work while I sit at the pub all day, the inventor of tweezers (bless you), someone who works at the Mint (having a connection might help), people who are only interested in making me laugh. I am ONLY here for FRIENDS! If you take more than 2 seconds to peruse thru my profile, you'll see that. *.*.*.*.*.*.I AM NOT interested in your oversized muscular physique, NOR am I the slighest bit impressed by the half-nekked photos of your dumbass OR your ridiculous CAR....PLEASE DO NOT send me messages asking me to "Hit you up", "Get AT you", "Give you a call if I like what I see" or "Holla back".....Get some CLASS people...that's "ASS" with a "CL" in front of it!!!*.*.*.*.*.*.*. I'd also like to meet Cary Grant; if he wasn't DEAD. Class, personified. They just don't make 'em like that anymore...pity.

My Blog

Random Updates & Such

What's been the happs in Salty's vida as of late? Well, quite a bit actually. I won't be dishing out all the intimate, juicy details however, but I was in the mood to type and blab incesantly, s...
Posted by on Wed, 16 Apr 2008 18:35:00 GMT

I Need Nothing Else In Life

It's here...it's finally here!! Not many things have made me this happy.....and for this....yes, I'm an idiot, but I dont' care!!! YAY!!! Life is good again...... http://www.ikea.co...
Posted by on Tue, 11 Dec 2007 14:53:00 GMT

I Couldn’t Be More Insulted.

Well, ok I could actually, but go with me here. Seeing articles like THIS one, and so early in the morning, make me just want to puke up my lack of breakfast. I mean, there's just no reaso...
Posted by on Wed, 03 Oct 2007 05:15:00 GMT

Salty the Deezyner!!

Hello Friends, Amigos, Chums and Buds!So, My buddy Dave and I have been working hard (ok, just really bored) and have designed some cool shirts and things on www.Zazzle.com. We'd love for you to come ...
Posted by on Thu, 20 Sep 2007 16:53:00 GMT

Near-Death At A Drive-By Funeral.

Life does some weird shit sometimes. It kinda makes you wonder if things happen for a reason, or if it's just a test to see if we're paying attention. Well, we were. So, I'm on...
Posted by on Tue, 04 Sep 2007 18:21:00 GMT

...But I Drink My Ovaltine!!!?!?!!

I am thoroughly saddened, angered, envious, hurt, disgusted, bitter and utterly dissapointed that I have had to miss the following amazing event: http://www.originalalamo.com/Show.aspx?id=4585&nb...
Posted by on Sun, 12 Aug 2007 08:03:00 GMT

10 hours and the smell of bacon

I received my very first 'traffic citation' recently. It wasn't for speeding, although the idiot cop says I WAS exceeding the speed limit. Who doesn't? And I was STILL going slower t...
Posted by on Thu, 09 Aug 2007 19:00:00 GMT

Nothing....

...beats working out to the Blue Oyster Cult. I was burnin' (calories) for them. Thanks guys! ~please take batteries out.....and make it stop.
Posted by on Mon, 28 May 2007 18:00:00 GMT

salTy's Law. It Never Fails.

Did you ever feel like you were followed by that dark cloud of doom everyday of your life?? Like no matter WHAT you do or where you venture off to, that somehow, in some way, there could&nb...
Posted by on Sun, 22 Apr 2007 10:15:00 GMT

An Unexplained Explanation.

It's been quite a while since I've sat down and typed out a new blog. Well, I don't know how many folks would do it otherwise...I'd imagine standing up and/or lying stretched out on a pilates ma...
Posted by on Tue, 20 Feb 2007 18:56:00 GMT