JaMie

I CAN'T SIT OR STAND STILL FOR MORE THAN A MINUTE.I CAN BE EXTREMELY PARANOID.IRRITABLE,FEEL INVISIBLE,DEPRESSED,DON'T ENJOY LEADERSHIP,REVEAL LITTLE ABOUT MYSELF,DISLIKE LARGE PARTIES, FEEL UNDESIRABLE,DON'T LIKE TO STAND OUT,EMOTIONALLY SENSITIVE,LIKE SILENCE,FRAGILE, SECOND-GUESS MYSELF,NEGATIVE, FEARFUL,WEIRD,PARANOID, DEPENDENT,CAUTIOUS, NEUROTIC.SOMETIMES IT SEEM AS THOUGH I HAVE MY OWN WORLD.IM PRACTICAL BUT MOST OF THE TIMES IM 'DREAMY'.I CAN BE SO LOUD THEN BE SILENT IN A SECOND.AS LONG AS I HAVE MY GUITAR AND MY SMOKE WITH ME,IM ALL SET FOR A DREAMY.EITHER YOU LOVE ME OR YOU HATE MY ATTITUDE,I'M A DIRECT PERSON, I STATE WHAT I HAVE IN MIND WITHOUT HESITATION.I MAY APPEAR TO BE BRUTALLY HONEST,BUT I EXPECT LIKEWISE.I LOVE SIMPLE THINGS IN LIFE,AND I'M EXTREMELY THANKFUL FOR WHAT's UPON AND WHAT I'M GIVEN.I CAN BE YOUR BEST FRIENDS or YOUR WORST ADVERSARY.TO MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY, IM SOMEONE THEY CAN COUNT ON.I DONT TREAT EVERYONE EQUALLY,OR DONT GIVE EVERYBODY THE SAME LEVEL OF RESPECT. tHEY WOULD HAVE TO EARN THEM.IF MADE OUR TAIL SO LUCID,THEN WE WOULDN'T HAVE ROOM TO GROW,NO PLACE FOR REALIZATIONAND NO POINT OF LIVING LIFE. OBSTACLES ARE UPON TO ENLIGHTEN OUR THOUGHTS,AND TO BE KEPT AS A FUTURE REFERENCE. I CAN BE A LISTENER AND A GOODCADVISOR YOU CHOSE. I'M PATIENT, BUT DON'T PUXH ME TO THE LIMIT,UNDERSTANDING BUT DONT PUSH MY BUTTONS.I STAND BY MY WORDS AS WELL AS I STAND BY MY GROUND,THOUGH IM A LITTLE INDECISIVE; A BIT HESITANT BECAUSE I TRY TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT.But I know when I'm wrong and I admit it.Im a random, sarcastic and cocky person,but I can be serious when I need to be. I rarely drink,demanding, easily distracted,lenient, stubborn, unruly and etc.Others may find me a bit complicated, but yet Im very simple. "wHat ThEY SeE AnD sAy AbOUt Me DoEs NoT DeFiNe WhO i am iN ReALiTy.WhAT's PeRcEiVeD iS A MeRe SuRface,WhAt'S SaiD iS MeRe OpiNiOn;FoR WhAt'S iNeViTabLe iS hIDdEN WitHiN The dedEPtHs oF mY sOuL.OnLY i CaN teLL mY oWn %D?UtHeNtiCItY...im so tired of life. i feel like giving up and letting myself rot away. i wish whatever it is that makes me feel this way would crawl out and die. ive lost touch with everything. i have no appetite, even when im hungry. i have no motivation. my emotions are out of control. the smallest things make me break down. nobody cares. my family doesnt even take the situation seriously. it doesnt bother me much tho, becuz i lack feeling for anyone. i dont want to be a burden. im just tired of pushing people away, but i cant help it. i hate myself. and at the same time i like who i am. i want to let them know, but then i feel like an attention whore. everything about me is a contradiction. Dont you just hate it when people say they could help when they really couldn't???... its like saying.."COME I CAN HELP YOU!... I KNOW FRIGGIN PROBLEMS AND I UNDERSTAND!"... i felt like screaming such rude words to them...but they are my friend... and I'd worse if they wasnt... so instead,, I told them to GO AWAY and FLY WITH THE BIRDS...COZ THEY'd NEVER UNDERSTAND ME! Gosh I feel like im going downward spiral where everything swell as emotions go down by... who would've thought that I...myself, could have him... people wont just mind their DamNn businesses...so Im sorry that im not racist enuff to be part of the stupid thing... gah!!! people these daysss!!! Yess so me and my FrIeNdS have plans to make a society of people that hates people...LOLZ!!! yeahhhh that'd be soOooOo coOL!... antagonist freaks and oxymorons in the friggin club! .... ahahahaha gosh I have my ways to get what I want... My life itself is just made up of Forced smiles...and quiet tears... there really is no way for Love to save you! If you think that way then your enigmatic stupidity has taken over you!!! and I must say your brain is pretty infected and dementically obstruct...so mind me for saying that!... I dont want to be a chalk..beliving in such things could just blow me away into dust... Im already drowning Asphyxiated... and Im trying to break that thing... the thing that he has started coz it hurts deeply! To be honest... nothing of us is original in our own ways, we're just simply combined effort of everybody and the experiences that we've gone thru and known...so if your thinking that you're original...then screw you!!!... we're just different no originality at all! you do well to remember that! sometimes im serious... sumtYms Im CraZY!! im real, what u see is what u get.. I love sports! umm.. Im verY APproaChabLe:) I hate baCk stabbErs sO if U got problem with me..teLL me right On mY faCe dude! haaa i juz don't like it when people talk behind my back.. i dont want to sound rude but im just speaking my mind.. ya see im not a bad girl im just a good girl wHo does bad things.. get it? hekz... hmm.. im different in sooo many ways.. im a complete weirdo..i have the strangest ideas, i do what i want to do..this is my life..nobody can tell me what to do..Nobody has the right to judge me!! blah! i have my own mind, i can make decisions by myself..... fcorz i know, not everything that i want would be good for me.. i made a lot of mistakes already...but common! im human..im not perfect! nobody is.. (hmm.. what a lame excuse! haha) nwei..as i was saying..ive been through a lot already.. i learned a lot from my experiences..became matured in many aspects physically & emotionally... It pisses me off when people pass judgement and assume that I'm a certain way, simply because I'm not the one to initiate a conversation. If you really want to talk to me then come up to me. Don't ASSUME anything about me, especially if you think I'm stuck up, bitchy, conceited (etc) before you even have the chance to get to know me because I am one of the RADDEST girls you will ever meet. If I am wronged, I am a firm believer in second chances, but do it again and you are seriously pushing it. It isn't fair for good people to be taken advantage of.I hold those people I care about very close to my heart. I get my heart broken regularly. I'm overly emotional. things i value: equal rights for all people (regardless of gender, color, race, origin, religion or lack thereof, creed, sexual orientation, health status, age, disability, etc.), freedom of speech, the right of marriage for everyone, separation of church and state, a woman's right to make any and all decisions about her own body, freedom to protest things you do not find acceptable without being persecuted by the government or law enforcement, freedom to practice any religion or to have no religion, people who defend those who cannot defend themselves, altruism, random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty, peace, tolerance, love, the hunger for knowlege, inclusion, friendliness, acceptance, learning about other cultures and belief systems, supporting the arts (music, dance, art, drama) in schools and communities, those who can laugh at themselves and their ideas, those who make others feel welcome, valued and appreciated, teaching, helping others.... things i hate: racism, sexism, homophobia, bigotry, discrimination, prejudice, ignorance, intolerance, selfishness, exclusion, dishonesty, those who value money over human beings, those who attempt to impose their morals/values/beliefs on others, those who sit in judgment on others, those who feel superior to others or have entitlement issues, narcissism, those who use religion to justify the mistreatment of others, those who accuse others of disloyalty or treason to gain political advantage, those who abuse power to gain money, leaders who lie, cheat and steal, hypocrites.... Im only true to those who are true to me I don’t take shit from anyone And I don’t care if you have a problem with me Even if I hate you, Im not mean to you I laugh at my own jokes.. if I am in a relationship with a guy, i am very serious; I give it a lot and want a lot out of it but w/o telling him.. i am really emotional and in touch with my feelings... %D%ALOVE IS TOO PAINFULL...AND I TRIED IT SO MANY TIMES...BUT AS ALL ELSE FAIL I BEGAN TO FIND MYSELF IN THOSE PEOPLE...I BECAME WEAK...FELT BETRAYED...FELT THE LOST OF SOMETHING IMPORTANT...AND FOUND MY HEART BROKEN...BUT I ACCEPTED THE THINGS THAT GOES THROUGH MY LIFE...AS THOUGH THINGS BECAME HAED TO UNDERSTAND I FOUND FRIENDS WHO WOULD%D%AHELP...THOSE REAL FRIENDS WHOM I TREASURE THE MOST AND THOSE WHO UNDERSTAND WHAT IM HERE FOR...EVEN IF I CRY THOSE FLOODING TEARS AND AS I DROP BECAUSE OF ALCOHOL I STILL KNOW SOMEONE WOULD PICK ME UP AND TELL ME HE/SHE IS THERE FOR ME...JUST THAT SIMPLE WORD WOULD SLAP ME BACK TO REALITY TO TRY TO UNDERSTAND THAT THATS WHAT LIFE IS SUPPOSED TO BE.IM TRYING TO BE STRONG BUT I STILL KNOW THAT IM WEAK. %D%A%D%A ....