I'd like to meet:
You clicked on this! You are such a freak! Chess with vegetables? What kind of men are you into? Kidding!!! Jeeze! Don’t beat me up!
Here’s the deal. I am looking for a cool people to hang out with. If you are offended by my use of words then you are obviously not that cool so you might as well go back to the ads of guys taking naked pictures of them selves. Now that’s HOT!
Wait a minute… No, no it’s not.
I would like for my friends to be attractive, funny and smart. If this offends the ugly, boring and dumb people I would like to apologize in advance. There are someone out there for you too.
I really don’t think there is anything wrong with having standards. Think about it. You (yes you reader) probably wouldn’t have anything to do with 99.9% of the people who place their profiles on this site. Why? Because you have standards damn it, that’s why. Most of these people are creepy. I mean posting pictures of their schlong on the Internet? Who does that? I am amazed at how many guys are willing to dive face first into a complete strangers ass. Then again, what kind of person is into that? "I want THAT hairy fat guy!!"
Think about how that conversation would go down at a dinner party or with the fam. "So how did you two meet?" To which the lucky lady would reply "Well I was perusing MySpace.com last Memorial Day and there was Bob. He was naked, spread eagle on his Lazy Boy with his cock in his hand and a twinkle in his eye. I just KNEW I had to meet this guy".
Of course I exaggerate but I’m not too far off. These poorly written wannabe Penthouse Forum profiles are obviously working for these guys because there are hundreds of them. Some of them are hilariously distasteful and strategically misplaced. I've even seen them in the for sale section while looking for a mountain bike. I’ll never look at a Huffy the same way again!
Well, I’m not going to spend too much time talking about myself, but I’m good looking, muscular, funny, exciting, adventurous, cool, a real mans man – the kind of man other men want to be, and women want to be with! But most of all, out of everything else, my best trait is...I’m modest. (Insert Smiley Face Here)
Bring it!!
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