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Monday, November 19, 2007Jeovanni Current mood: crushedDear Everyone,I knew Jeo from the mall. We both worked there but both in different stores. I didn't know him but he stuck out like a sore thumb with his faux-almost mohawk, tight jeans that sagged and a walk only he could ever get away with. He'd walk by my store daily and just staaaaaare. I remember that he would stare so much walking by that I thought his neck would break. We orginally thought he was staring at another worker Quinn but I would later find out this was not entirely true or so Jeo says.One day Jeo came in to our store and put in an application. I couldn't believe the little stalker had applied. I was quick to interview him as a joke, just to see what this kid had to say. The first thing he did was tell me how much he loved my shoes which I found out to be a complete lie a few months later, a total Regina George this guy was. For some reason I liked what he had to say and I hired him.I dont remember much about his first day. Just that he made the mistake of saying that he thought our stock guy Sam was "hot". Which was comical for me because Sam had just previously gotten drunk and tried biting almost all of the female employees at the store on the neck.Jeo quickly became the favorite sales associate amongst everyone. Though he said the most inapporiate things, acted out the most innapproriate things and didnt really enjoy working that much - Jeo was everyone's favorite.Everytime a good looking guy would come in Jeo would say "DADDY!". Usually the guy wouldn't notice but when he did or his girlfriend did - it was priceless.Jeo would make up little words like "wahh". "Wahh" was a universal word for Jeo. He said it when he saw a hot guy, he used it as a term for sex - a lot of things he would use this word for but it was ok because it was Jeo. Jeo also introduced me to the term "Debbie" which meant desperate. He also used "deb" and "debster". These words as comical and immature as they are will always stay with me.Besides sexually assaulted customers and employees. Jeo just loved trying on all the shoes mostly the high heels. I will tell you right now and anyone else at the store would agree with me - the boy could walk. He probably walked better in heels then any of the other girls at our store. He would just strut down his little imaginary cat walk and end it by dropping it like it's hot while doing his famous Christina Aguirlera move.I loved Jeo because he made me laugh and he was an all around amazing person. There was not one person that didnt love Jeo at our store. Not one. We would take numerous smoke breaks together. He always smoked Marlboro reds 100s and I smoked Havanna Honeys, little cigars Jeo always said tasted like cum. We would just sit there at the tables smoke, make fun of people walking by and either praise or tear apart celebrities in US magazine. I will never be able to do that againJeo and I also bonded because he was Japanese and Mexican just like me. We would say that we were brother and sister or to Jeo we were just sisters. Whatever I considered him my sibling just the same.Like the sister I never had - I told Jeo EVERYTHING. He knew eveything about me, things that I thought I would take to the grave everything. He knew everything but loved me just the same. He knew about Bryan. And when Markie came around it was over, haha. Markie and Jeo became very close as well and when Markie and I would fight we would go straight to Jeo and bitch, seperately of course. Jeo would agree with me when I told him my side and then would call me a stupid bitch in only a way Jeo could say it to Markie. He told us both what he thought we wanted to hear because he didn't want to hurt either of us.I would take Jeo to work everyday it seemed. I was usually always waiting for his lag ass. I would call and his guy would say he would be right out because he had to put on his shoes which I might add didnt have any laces and still it would take him at least 10 minutes to come out. Driving to work would consist of listening to Paris Hilton, yelling at guys and talking about our daily drama - or usually just mine.Jeo always wanted a boyfriend. Always wanted to be in love. He met a boy named Jesse and that was that. All I remember is that Jeo loved him. Jesse drove Jeo crazy. Jesse made the only person at Steve Madden that didnt cry at work....cry at work. Jesse lived far, there was a few times that Markie and I or just Markie had to give Jeo a ride all the way to Jesses house so they could argue, make up or whatever. I remember one time we went, it was late and we were there for a good hour just camping out Jesses apartment because Jeo thought he was cheating and we were trying to catch him , haha. Even though they fought Jeo loved him and I'm happy he felt that.Jeo always made me smile and was a big reason I stayed at Steve Madden for as long as I did, but my time came and I left. We didnt talk at much because of my own personal problems but I tried to call as much as I could.I called him that morning. To see if Britney CD was out but he didnt pick up. I figured he was sleeping, I always did call him too early.I was in LA that day when Grabot called me. She told me Jeo was in the hospital because of his appendix and he was bleeding profusley and something wasnt right but she didnt know. I got in touch with Richard and he basically said the same thing but that Jeo had gone into surgery at 4PM that day. Next in line - I called Markie being the great man and friend that he is - he was already in Orange County. We met at my house. We picked up Rachel and Julie and went to the hospital. We tried making light of the situation - laughing even. Turning into the hospital I called Richard for an update and I asked if everything was ok and he said no and that he'd talk to me when we got up there.I was scared but tried to shake it off because it was Jeo. Nothing could happen to Jeo - he was so immortal to me.When the elevator doors opened I saw Richard and he just shook his head and told me. He told me that Jeo was in a coma and was only alive because of the life support. Soon after we learned they were taking him off life support. I remember just screaming the words "no".This couldnt have been happening. There's no fucking way this is happening. My brother or sister whatever is gone?! This couldnt be happening. He is so young he wanted kids, he wanted a daughter and he wanted to name her Kennedy - there's no way he can leave right now.We all broke down to the point where if we didnt calm down we would have been asked to leave. The only thing that kept us from freaking the hell out was that we were able to say goodbye to him. He was gone but they were going to let us see him.He didnt look like himself. Laying there in that bed was not Jeo. That was not the Jeo that we knew. I kissed him goodbye and told him I loved him.We all left and went out seperate ways. It was weird just splitting up like that after what happened. I felt like we should have been home together. We would get our chance.We all hung out the next night. Teenuh, Rach, Angel, Markie, Dee, Julie, Richard, Allison and I. We all got really drunk and partied in memory of our baby, Jeo. We huddled and chanted his name. We would scream out "waah" in the sky hoping that he would hear us. We played all his favorite music and talked about all of our funny Jeo stories. And realized what it took to get us all together and we promised never to seperate again.A couple days went by..Tennuh and I both got tattoos for Jeo. I got his signature and she got his name with heart. Jeo will not only be with us in spirit forever but also physically now. I kiss my wrist often when I miss him - I probably look crazy.We went to the viewing - they tried to make him look like Jeo as much as possible but forgot that he wore bronzer then amanda lepore. The entire time we were trying to find his dad. Jeo was half mexican and half japanese and his dad was japanese - we had never seen his dad and even now we didnt see him. After awhile we asked Joel where his dad was considering we didnt see a little Japnese guy other then my dad running around. It was then Joel looked at us and said "Jeo isn't Japanese, he's just Mexican". We all said "WHAT THE FUCK" but laughter and crying soon followed. It was very apparent that Jeo got the last laugh.The funeral was hard but not as hard considering it was in Spanish and any points the priest tried to make was unknown to me. No, I'll say the burial was the hardest. I'll never forget the sound of concrete rubbing together or the sound of cranking when they lowered the casket six feet under. That will stay with me forever.Everyday I get on my laptop and look at my myspace to see his face. I have a video on my space as well but I cant bring myself to watch it often because that is when I just lose it. I miss him so much.I miss his face and his blue eyes that he swore were real. I miss his voice , i miss him pulling my hair and saying "love ya, bitch". I miss his dancing and his whining. I miss the way he walked and the way he looked at everyone like they were an inch tall. I miss everything. There was nothing bad about Jeo.I will never meet anyone as funny as him and I feel sorry for anyone that didnt have the privledge of meeting him.I'm too sloppy to write anymore.I love you, Jeo and I miss you more then any words I can think of. I think about you everyday and I cry for you everyday and I wish nothing more then you to be here living the life you should be living right now.I love you, babe