I know some of you are wondering why I decided to become as massive as I am. Well, the logic goes a little something like this: Back when I was thin, I was at least 50 times better than absolutely anyone else, right? Of course. So, I said to myself one day, "What if I double my weight? Won't that make me at least 100 times better than any man alive?" I think you'll agree that such reasoning is utterly undeniable. And so, my hand forced by brute logic, I picked up a spoon and just started eating and eating. Now, here I am, Fat Tom Cruise, the most beautiful and valuable man in the universe.Play your cards right, and I'll come to your house and jump on your couch. Play your cards wrong, and I'll pour your grandma's medicine down the sink.
My Interests
I'd like to meet:
I'd like to meet someone who's even half as valuable as me. Oh, wait, there isn't anyone like that. LOL.
