15793818

I am average height (6'12")
I once ate my weight at Godfather's Pizza
I make my own hats out of old coffee cans and a little bit of glitter.
I am crafty, like Martha Stewart, only with a longer prison record...
I enjoy long walks off short piers at the beach
I enjoy typing stupid comments about myself, in a lame attempt to be funny and/or get laid.
I have really weird looking balls.
Some people say I look like Denzel Washington or George Washington.
I slap immigrants around, y'know,...to teach 'em a lesson.
I slept with Paris Hilton, well not really Paris Hilton, but was some dumb ass blonde girl with a lazy eye...well not really a blonde girl, it was a homeless man, but he did have a lazy eye, so really pretty much the same thing.
I can fart the National Anthem...GOD BLESS AMERICA BITCH!
I grew up on a farm, where I learned how to milk dandelions