Chris

Interview with a Zombie

Rating: Like "Interview with a Vampire" without all the gay Vampire subtext but way crappier TRT: 27 mins Transcript of the pre-production meeting Producer: I've been doing some look...
Posted by Chris on Wed, 29 Nov 2006 10:41:00 PST

Mass Murderers Anonymous

Rating: It's crap but you didn't hear it from me TRT: 82 mins I want to anonymously find the MMA writer/director and anonymously punch him in the face for wasting my time watching this movie. -Ano...
Posted by Chris on Wed, 29 Nov 2006 10:04:00 PST

Manhattan Minutiae

Rating: A one-note joke of a movie for a one-minute manRemember when you loved Reality Bites and wished it dealt with more lesbian issues. Remember how Friends and Seinfeld taught you that nothing h...
Posted by Chris on Wed, 29 Nov 2006 10:02:00 PST

Shiru: The Galactic Makatoshi

Rating: Galactic Garbage TRT: 4 mins A man by the name of Jonathan Dingleberry is quoted on the DVD cover as saying "Bruce Lee has reincarnated". With that I popped the DVD in with feverish excitemen...
Posted by Chris on Wed, 29 Nov 2006 09:30:00 PST

The Raven Saga Chapter 1: Behold The Raven

Rating: Behold the Worst Movie I've seen in the last 15 minsDescription: The DVD cover looks like some 12-year-old meth head drew it doodling in his Math class. The film looks like he let his 16-year-...
Posted by Chris on Wed, 29 Nov 2006 08:59:00 PST

Vampire Whores From Outer Space

Rating: Me hate you long time solider boy Total Run Time: Who knows and who caresWhen you have prostitution as the integral motif for your film, you have a lot to live up to as an auteur. There is a p...
Posted by Chris on Thu, 05 Oct 2006 10:09:00 PST

Independent Cinema

This summer I had the privilege to watch hours upon hours of the absolute worst that independent cinema has to offer. I watched the most wretched and vile acts ever put to Mini-DV tape from swashbuckl...
Posted by Chris on Thu, 05 Oct 2006 09:13:00 PST