Myspace Layouts - Myspace Editor
Myspace Layouts - Myspace Editor
Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It's a very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know, because what if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're cocky. "Look what I got, motherfucker! This thing is useful! I'm gonna go pick something up!" - Mitch Hedberg -
---------Take a look at what I'm wearing, people. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys? Forget about it. Last off, my students will learn about self respect. You think anybody thinks I'm a failure because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it!!!
She's uh... she's got sandy blonde hair. She's uh... pretty good looking face, but I'm just getting really... just kinda TO'd because... I mean she hasn't even sent me a full body shot yet................................................----"Thre e years ago my sister was diagnosed with multiple personalities, and there's nothing funny about that. But she phoned me the other day...and my caller ID exploded."
In England, Smokey the Bear is not the forest fire prevention representative. They have Smackie the Frog. It's just like a bear, but it's a frog. I think that's a better system, I think we should adopt it, because bears can be mean, but frogs are always cool. Never has there been a frog hoppin' towards me and I thought, 'Man, I better play dead! Here comes that frog!' - Mitch Hedberg
Porn.
"I like to go to really bad movies, during their sixth week at the theatre. And there's only one other person in the room. I like to sit *right* by that person. And they're like, 'excuse me', and I'm like, 'Shhh, I can't hear Keanu." - Zach Galifianakis
Carlos E. Lardizabal.