THE LIFE AND TIMES OF BEN HALL.
OH THE GOOD LIFE IS OUT THERE SOMEWHERE, SO STAY ON MY ARM YOU LITTLE CHARMER.
When Eddie Argos Sang 'Dye Your Hair Black, Never Look Back', It Became Ben's Life Mantra, And Since The Summer Of 2005 He Has Indeed Not Looked Back.
Not That He Could Remember Anything Previous To This Moment - The Preceding Years Now Dubiously Dubbed 'The Wilderness Years' And 'Childhood.'
Ben Has A Fear Of See Through Fabrics Rooted In A Tale Concerning A Bottle Of Blackcurrant Juice And Puppy Fat. Other Things He Is Afraid Of Include Knives, Dead People, Unexpected Pregnancy And Clowns.
The Oxford Dictionary Defines Ben Hall As 'A Go Getter, A Trend Setter; A Heavy Petter, If You Will'. He Is In His Second Year At Farnborough Sixth Form College, Where He Studies 'Sugar Free Red Bull' And 'Checking His Reflection In Windows'. He Likes Fit Girls; Girls Who Like Dancing, Bright Colours, Soft Fabrics. And Have Awkward Hair. Poor Punctuation Will Make Him Wince In Agony, As Will Obesity And People Who Fall Into The Category Of 'Happy Chappies', Defined By Ben Himself. Tom Chaplin (Of Keane Fame And 'Happy Chappie' Status) Is Actually In Rehab Due To The Addictive Nature Of Ben's Blog Dubbed 'BeNME'.
Amy Winehouse Disagrees.
In His Spare Time He Hangs Out In Dimlit Carparks And Fields. He Also Sometimes Goes To Parties, Depending Whose Parents Are On Holiday. He Also Likes Live Music, And Was Once Saluted By That Hot Gurl That Does Popworld Now At A Klaxons Concert. This Is His Claim To Fame. He Has Also Met The Late Bob Monkhouse.
Other Names Ben Has Gone By Are: Fernando Azkabat, Raoul, Geyan, Tom, Pepto Abysmal And Charlie Hustle.
His Own Father Once Described His Face As 'Haunted'.
In 3 Months, You Will Hate Quit Kazuki (The Band He's In) Purely For The Reason That Everyone Else Likes Them.
He Likes To Think He Looks Like David Bowie In The Morning And Robert Smith At Night.
He Doesn't.
Basically, He's Bare Nang.
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ALSO I DJ IN A TROUPE CALLED DEAF CON 3, WE'RE SICK, WE'LL PLAY YOUR PARTY IF YOU LIKE, YOU CAN TELL YOUR FRIENDS YOU KNOW US AND GET POONTANGED TO HIGH HEAVEN.
