About Me
I'm just here for the party.Everywhere I go, people ask me, Landon, Landon, Landon....Landon Landon. Landon, are you kidding? Let me tell you this, friends, I am not kidding. I mean, I am portly and I am maroon. Can anyone guess what I am? Here, I'll give you some clues. First clue: I am portly. Did that help? If not, here's a second clue: I am double-knit. That help?...If not, here's one more clue, but I hate like damn to tell you because it will give it away. Oh well, third clue: Muy bien maroon! So, pretty obvious now how? If you guessed I was a sofa, you were right! So once upon a time, waaaay back a loooong time ago, when the universe consisted of nothing more elaborate than myself trying to convince each and every member of this extremely hip website that I was nothing more, nothing less, than a fat, maroon sofa, suspended in the midsts of a great emptiness, a great light shined down from heaven. And there he was, ladies and gentlemen, the good Lord, and he took a look at the sofa. He said to himself, "Quite an attractive sofa. This sofa could be commercial. With a few more margaritas and the right company. However, I digress. What this soda needs," said the big G, "is a bit of flooring underneath it." So, in order to make this construction project possible, he summoned the assistance of the celestial core of engineers. And by means of a cute little song in the german language, which is the way he talks whenever it's heavy business, the good Lord gave the command, "Give unto me a bit of flooring under this fat, floating sofa." And sure enough, boards of oak appeared throughout the emptiness as far as vision permits. Stretching all the way from Belfast to Bognaregis. And the Lord put aside his huge cigar, and proceeded to deliver unto the charming, maroonish sofa, the bulk of his message, with the help of a small, electric clarinet.
