About Me
I made this MySpace Music Player at MyFlashFetish .com.
Ass Babies are small creatures that are created at moments of extreme stress. Let's say your computer is playing up at work and it's driving you mad, at the peak of your frustration (if it's really that bad) a strange chemical reaction will take place and some of your turd will mix with a little of your DNA and a strange life form will come into existence.......this, is an Ass Baby.
It will then clamber out of your back door (possibly doing damage with it's claws as it does, this is known to cause piles). Once free of your body it moves at fucking high speed, you've probably had a few and not seen them, they don't hang about. It will head for drains, toilets, manholes, anything that leads underground. It's looking for the sewer, where the other Ass Babies are.
The Ass Babies are organized in a large gang, they're troublesome, you don't wanna mess. They're always up to mischief and violence, and if you ever stumble on a crowd of them you're pretty much fucked. When they're on their own they get away from you as fast as they can, but when they're with the gang they'll fuck you up to make sure you don't tell anyone you saw them.
They're ugly little bastards, like a slender turd with chickens’ legs, and a wild look in their eyes. They also take on some characteristics of their "parent". So for example, if Arnold Schwarzenegger had one, it would be muscly, and speak in an exaggerated Austrian accent.
The Ass Baby gang has one objective, to make you mad so you have an Ass Baby. This makes their gang bigger and more powerful. They achieve this by many means. Power outages, prank phone calls, blocked up drains…..all of these things can be attributed to Ass Babies.
Jamaican people are generally laid back and aren't prone to ass babies, so when one is born it's a rare thing. That's why the Yardie is the boss. He's chilled out, yet ruthless.
There's a gangsta rap ass baby, he has gold teeth and pimp jewelry. He is looking to become the next leader, by whatever means. He's got a crew of other rap ass babies backing him up. Some say that 50 Cent was on tour and had an ass baby back stage, and that this is 50 Cent's ass baby, nobody can be sure, but he certainly has the attitude.
Another thing to know about ass babies is that they're all male. There are no female ass babies made, as there is no need to mate, they're made by us. The fact that there are no females makes ass babies very frustrated, you might find that one has humped the corner of your sofa, or tried to bugger your cat. Generally all this pent up testosterone just leads to more violence and mischief though.
Anyway, more details, and hopefully some photos of these elusive creatures will soon follow. For now, enjoy their music and don’t get stressed! You don’t wanna have an Ass Baby.
