Jake Ryan - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Yeah, a few lucky shots have found holes in my armor, but the pieces they took made the rest even harder. So now I'm alert, that's the way things work - it's a contact sport, everybody gets hurt and everybody plays dirty 'cuz there ain't no rules - it's like you're either playing a fool or playin' a fool. Not saying it's cool, I've just learned from experience, the best teacher -- I've done a lot of research. Jumped feet first, still landed with my knees in the dirt, you prob'ly know about my previous work even if you didn't recognize the author. Well that's me, been gettin' schooled long enough to be a doctor. Taught a few courses too. You know what wild horses do. Hope you don't mind I'm honest with you - we're both fulla shit frankly, ain't we? We don't have to paint these roses red. You're tall enough that I'm not going over your head and I don't need to read a whole book to know what it says, but I like what you got and if there's room in the plot you should go ahead and write me in.

My Interests

Music:

Member Since: 10/05/2005
Band Website: You found it, jack.
Band Members: Brain, Left Hand, Drinking Problem, The Ego, Percocet, Paranoia, Snacks from Doo Doo, and General Confusion.
Influences: Hard lessons taught and learned. And the relentless chain of awkward moments that is my life.
Sounds Like: Sandpaper Junkies, Maybe Someday, Even Worse, Dumpster Fetus, The Dirty Normal, Just Barely & the Almost, Death Flavored Death, The Randy Savages... etc.
Record Label: HomeBrew
Type of Label: Indie

My Blog

Motion Sickness

Tired of speaking this same old languageHow come it feels like nothing changesWhen my little world's moving at such high speedsI get the dry heaves -- motion sicknessMy life story's one giant ellipsis...
Posted by on Thu, 24 Sep 2009 11:10:00 GMT

with fridge magnets.

Leave behind the most you canTake only what you mustWe're taking off for nowhereAnd you're coming with usTo soar beneath the deep endThat your feet can never touchAn angel wouldn't love itBut I know y...
Posted by on Sat, 21 Feb 2009 22:37:00 GMT

And then

And then a big empty black opens from your chest and folds over you, swallows you in and you are wading. Shoulder deep in something tar-like and all you want is to just not wade anymor...
Posted by on Mon, 08 Sep 2008 05:04:00 GMT

Gallows Humor

Let yourself laugh.In early June my module was dispatched to the Chico/Oroville area on an immediate need strike team. The first fire we hit was someone's olive orchard that had burned; it was all mo...
Posted by on Tue, 24 Jun 2008 19:08:00 GMT

How to Survive a Bender.

As your trusted friend and highly underpaid Life Coach, I understand that circumstances are almost ALWAYS wayyyyyy beyond your control. Even the simplest tasks and situations can trigger an involunta...
Posted by on Sat, 23 Jun 2007 21:14:00 GMT

Nothing is Wrong.

Happiness is a state of mind that comes and goes. Anger is a tool you can use to make things happen. Make things better. Make YOURSELF better. Hold tight to...
Posted by on Sat, 17 Feb 2007 14:04:00 GMT

How to Pretend Nothing is Wrong pt. 2

I have a saying: "You can't put a price on experience." It's my saying, I like saying it. In fact I say it all the time. But it's really just a euphemism. It's litera...
Posted by on Mon, 04 Dec 2006 13:38:00 GMT

Wise Words

1. You can't get to school without roads. -Justin Panter 2. If you break the plane, it's a touchdown. -Me.
Posted by on Thu, 21 Sep 2006 20:47:00 GMT

How to Pretend Nothing is Wrong pt. 1

Instead of saying: "I think maybe I have a drinking problem." Say: "There's a lot worse fuckin' problems I could have, like AIDS! Now, bottoms up!" Instead of saying "Oh my GOD. Why a...
Posted by on Fri, 19 May 2006 13:06:00 GMT

The Diet

"Me, I don't drink soda or anything anymore. I only drink beer and water. I drink water so I can feel better, and then I drink beer... so I can feel better." -Joel Smith LMFAO YO!!!
Posted by on Mon, 08 May 2006 13:52:00 GMT