Two most inspiring quotes I've heard (I will paraphrase for flow):
Danny Bauer: You're committed because you work even though you are not the strongest or fastest guy on the team
Coach Tugwell: Everybody has a goal to be a 10 by then end of their senior year, and you are working your way up to that.
Ignignokt: Welcome home, baby! I say this to all of your things, for this is a robbery.
Simmons: That cake is huge, you could fit a whole person in there!
Griff: Why does it smell like baby oil... Dear God, where is Donut!?
Donut: Maybe we'll find our future selves in there!
Simmons: Donut, we don't leave copies of ourselves when we travel in time; even if we did they'd be over 800 years old.
Donut: Ha, I could live to be 800, I'm on this awsome diet!
Sarge: What, is it that one where you eat high fatty foods and no carbs that only consist of bacon juice?
Donut: No way, that was just a fad, this new diet is awsome, I only eat foods that start with vowels. For instance, this morning I had eggs... and oreos, and for lunch I had asparagus... and oreos!
Griff: Oh my gosh, I didn't realize I was so healthy, I even skipped the eggs, and I've got no idea what asparagus is!
Tovar: No, Tovar is the guilty one, for being much to sexy, and so macho!
Seriously, is crime in my country.
Tucker: Caboose, they're not going to hear us, we are over 300 yeads away.
One of them: Hey, I think I heard something!
Peter: I'll go talk to the principal to try to find a solution for the drugs at school.
later...
Peter: ...and that's my plan.
Principle: Mr. Griffin, all you did was sit down and say "and that's my plan."
later...
Peter: ...and that's my plan.
Principal: I don't like it, leave!
Later at home...
*Phone rings* *Peter answers*
Principal: I love it! I've told all of the staff, see you tommorow!
Teacher: Look, a women just answered a math problem, do you all know what that means?
Everybody: WITCH!!!
Actually Happened:
Cyr: Okay, I'm going to teach you a swear word today. Do you all know the shoe company Nike? Well, in French that means the F word.
Alex: So is that why their slogan is "Just do it!"?
Yesterday Scientist in the United States discovered that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove this theory they fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and 100% of them started talking nonsense and could not drive.
Oxygen requires Chuck Norris to live.
Ceop circles are Vin Diesels way of telling the world that sometimes corn just needs to lie down.
Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
NOTE: z
No smoking around Andrew. Thank you for your cooperation.
LOOK OUT!
???
Kerr is a radioactive squirrel!!
PARENTAL
ADVISORY
ANDREW LELAND KERR CONTAINS
EXPLICT LYRICS
Username:
From Go-Quiz.com
Crap actually about me:
A good friend will tell you what you want to hear.
A true friend will always tell the truth.
The Beast will make fun of you about the truth.
A good friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A true friend seeks to help you with your problems.
The Beast makes your problems his problems.
A good friend will be there for you all through school.
A true friend will be there till the day you die.
The Beast will be there up there in heaven with you.
A good friend will bail you out of prison.
A true friend will be sitting next to you saying
"damn that was fun!"
The Beast would use his connections to have the police neglect arresting you.
A good friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A true friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
The Beast would personally cater your party.
A good friend hates it when you call after they've gone to bed.
A true friend asks you why you took so long to call.
The Beast yells at you, loses focus, and lets himself get caught up in a long conversation.
A good friend wonders about your romantic history.
A true friend could blackmail you with it.
The Beast loses focus immediately.
A good friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A true friend calls you after you had a fight.
The Beast forgets the fight before its even happened... he's that forgiving.
A good friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A true friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.
The Beast sits in your chair, unbuckles his pants, unbuttons his shirt, and ask if you'd get him something to drink while he watches your cable.
A good friend has never seen you cry.
A true friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
The Beast cries with you, he feels your pain.
A good friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A true friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
The Beast doesn't know your parents' last name.
A good friend expects you to always be there for them.
A true friend expects to always be there for you.
The Beast is watching the bad people.
A good friend is someone you enjoy hanging out with.
A true friend is someone you need.
The Beast is there even if you don't need him.
A good friend will help you move.
A true friend will help you move a body.
The Beast would have you help him move a body.
