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About Me

I write for a living. My goal is, generally, to write things that cause people to laugh with me, not at me. I am periodically successful.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Oh, so many people. Fran Lebowitz, David Sedaris, Jon Stewart, Sarah Vowell, Ira Glass, Ben Folds, Gillian Welch, Lynda Barry...it's mostly people who write or sing or draw stuff that I love. I want to figure out how they do it. So I don't just want to meet them, I want to talk to them. And I don't want to go to a dinner party with them because then we'd just have conversations about how frustrating it is to have a president who just likes to blow shit up and wonder whether we're fixin' to live in a fascist state and blah blah blah (which is true, but you can have that conversation with anyone). No, I'd want to be trapped in an elevator with them or something. Not all of them at once - just a series of unfortunate elevator incidents, one after the other wherein I'm coincidentally there and open to hearing them chat about their creative process and how they've always been a little claustrophobic. It would take a lot of pre-planning and elevator know-how and eventually people would catch on, but it would be good while it lasted.Note to self: send CV to Otis Elevator for employment consideration.

My Blog

The Benefits of Living in a Dictatorship

Another recently-read-on-the-radio piece!--In recent months, it seems that more and more people are concerned with the amount of power that's shifted to the White House. The president has added over 7...
Posted by on Thu, 09 Nov 2006 06:58:00 GMT

Sometimes an emergency contact is just a fucking emergency contact.

So, here's what happened.My brother recently brought two ridiculous-looking terriers into the house - y'know the kind with the long snout and the curly hair? He'd brought dogs into the house before an...
Posted by on Mon, 10 Jul 2006 23:53:00 GMT

Mawiage - a Sacwed Witchuwal.

I read this for the radio recently, but don't think it'll make it on, so I'm posting it here as well...June brides abound, which, I must admit, makes me a little cranky. But there's more to it than ju...
Posted by on Sun, 18 Jun 2006 17:18:00 GMT

24 year-olds don't know shit.

Last night I went out with a college friend that I happened upon through this MySpace oddness. The last time I saw this woman (we'll call her "Paula") was 13 years ago in New York City. And though I w...
Posted by on Sat, 01 Apr 2006 11:52:00 GMT