Jesus H. Christ profile picture

Jesus H. Christ

Who's your buddy?

About Me

Well, my mom was a virgin named Mary, my dad, Joseph, was a carpenter. I went into the family business at a young age, and proceeded to disappear from the earth until I was in my thirties. I'm pretty good at utilizing things. I mean, I did change water into wine, and multiplied fish and bread for some hungry homies. I'm a pretty nice guy who's looking for a nice girl to spend time with. I enjoy long walks on the beach, and going swimming with dolphins (like they did on Full House in Hawaii) when I'm not walking on the water. I don't mean to seem conceited, but I guess I'm a pretty badass dude.
I've noticed a lot of mofos on this website claiming to be me, but let me reassure you I am the one and only JHC. Don't let those tools keep you from the true path to ME! (The Lord) Afterall, are they going to greet you wearing nothing but a thong and holding a bottle of Cristal? I didn't think so.
I want to hear from you.
That's right, you.
Your mom telling you that you don't mean anything and you'll never get anywhere?
Now you can tell her that The Man Himself is asking for your input! What now, momma!?!!?

My Interests

a pretty sunset, alice in chains, all that, andy warhol, animal planet, anti-monkey, aphex twin, apples, artful nudity, baby animals, bad religion, black guys are funny, body modification, canada, carson daly, chinese checkers, church, cocaine, crowns, crucifixion, crusades, down syndrome, girls gone wild, goatees, god, gold, gum, home alone, ice cream, jhonen vasquez, las vegas, marilyn manson, michael jackson, money, morrissey, my best homie noah, poop, raking, republica, revolting cocks, roller derby, roofies & altar boys, sandals, the bible, the holy bible, the smurfs, togas, tom waits, tori spelling, toys, wild parties, pot

I'd like to meet:

Bill Clinton, Tom, the purple Teletubby

I'd like to meet with Satan again cos we haven't had our coffee runs in a long time. Gimme a ring buddy!

Music:

Jars of Clay, Chozen, Marilyn Manson, Switchfoot, Nine Inch Nails, Britney Spears, *NSYNC

Movies:

Passion of the Christ, E-Three the Extra Testical

Television:

Ally McBeal, Real World, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, Saved by the Bell, The Jesus Factor

Books:

The Holy Bible

Heroes:

God

My Blog

A day in the life of JHC...

Each morning I start my day off right by smoking a pack of cigarettes, eating some chocolate chip cookies and downing them with bourbon mixed with vodka. It's the best waker upper. I read a bunch of n...
Posted by Jesus H. Christ on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST