mary ann - ProfilesArchive

About Me

MyGen Profile Generator If you wind up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on TV telling you how to do your shit, then YOU DESERVE IT
The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews, Bottle openers. 'Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe clippers right here.
see you in june.
"So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen, you see an eclair in the receptacle, and you think to yourself, 'What the hell, I'll just eat some trash.'"
"No no no no no. It was not trash."
"Was it in the trash?"
"Yes."
"Then it was trash."
"It wasn't down in. It was sort of on top."
"But it was in the cylinder."
"Above the rim."
"Adjacent to refuse is... refuse."
"It was on a magazine. And it still had the doily on."
"Was it eaten?"
"One little bite."
"Well, that's garbage."
"But I know who took the bite. It was her aunt."
"Well, you, my friend, have crossed the line that divides man and bum. You are now a bum."
Playing to lose is like sleeping with your sister. Sure she's a great piece of tail with a blouse full of goodies, but it's just illegal. Then you get into that whole inbred thing. Kids with no teeth who do nothing but play the banjo... eat apple sauce through a straw... pork farm animals...

My Interests

I didn't see it there.

It's a four ton truck, Tyrone. Its not as though its a bag of fucking peanuts, is it?

It was at a funny angle.

It's behind you Tyrone. Whenever you reverse, things come at you from behind.

Keziah: No thanks, I'm a fruitarian.
Max: I didn't realize that.
William: And, ahm: what exactly is a fruitarian?
Keziah: We believe that fruits and vegetables have feeling so we think cooking is cruel. We only eat things that have actually fallen off a tree or bush - that are, in fact, dead already.
William: Right. Right. Interesting stuff. So, these carrots...
Keziah: Have been murdered, yes.
William: Murdered? Poor carrots. How beastly!

I'd like to meet:

i want you, little man.

Movies:

....

Television:

Probably the saddest thing you'll ever see is a mosquito sucking on a mummy. Forget it, little friend.
Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point.
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny
If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind people and pinching them is probably a joke that gets old real fast.
Marta says the interesting thing about fly-fishing is that it's two lives connected by a thin strand. Come on, Marta. Grow up.
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, forget em', cause, man, they're gone.
To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" you can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."
Just because swans mate for life, I don't think its that big a deal. First of all, if you're a swan, you're probably not going to find a swan that looks much better than the one you've got, so why not mate for life?
The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat. And if someone asks me why I didn't get more meat, I'll just say, "Oh, you mean this?" and pull out a big piece of meat from inside the blob of potatoes, where I've hidden it. Good magic trick, huh?

My Blog

eat me...slowly. [pictures] <:o]

soberly on our way to prom haha :] hot date eh? ohhh edwardo prep time? annnd birthday the next day, and the day that the best drink in the world was created.. husband ;]&...
Posted by mary ann on Thu, 18 May 2006 08:26:00 PST

Hypothetical hunger is not directly proportional to hypothetical appetite

we have taller buildingsbut shorter temperswider freewaysbut narrower viewpointswe buy morebut enjoy lessmore conveniencesbut less timewe have more degrees but less sensemore knowledge, but less judgm...
Posted by mary ann on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST