Fiona profile picture

Fiona

About Me

I may or may not only like playing games I'm good at. I have the patience of a flea's second cousin once removed. I spill things- All the time-Everywhere. I have a serious addiction to all things gift wrap and I can't be trusted in drug stores- I'm a junkie and Walgreen's has my fix. I subscribe to word of the day e-mails. I hate long walks on the beach. I produce things. Actually, I produce everything. I can't help it. It's compulsory. Oh, and I don't like it when you do that.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Clive Owens' wife so I can get permission to have a little tiny affair with him. A nice forgiving priest to absolve me after said affair has taken place. Other people who happen to find themselves in Los Angeles because they know that making movies is worth every kind of hell. People who couldn't be funnier but try anyway. Individuals who have had occasion to realize that everything is crap and you should just eat a popsicle and try again tomorrow.

My Blog

Death to emoticons.

Okay. Here's the thing. I think emoticons are gay and stupid and I kindof hate them. Everytime I look at them all I can think is how outdated they are. I feel like even upon their inception they were ...
Posted by on Thu, 25 Sep 2008 00:02:00 GMT

This is your brain on late night TV crack:

I've developed a bad habit this last year of watching really crazy shit on television as I fall asleep. The results have been random knowledge, strange dreams, the occasional nightmare about a po...
Posted by on Thu, 07 Aug 2008 18:54:00 GMT

But all the cool kids smoke...

I decided that it was about time that I get a doctor in LA since despite my persistent denial-I actually do live in Los Angeles.So I go in to meet this doctor and we have a consult, as is typical for ...
Posted by on Sat, 21 Jun 2008 12:59:00 GMT

I just thought you might like to know...

Okay, I don't want to start an international catfight or anything, but Canadians walk weird. For real and no joke. There is something singularly strange about their gait and pedestrian etiquette. They...
Posted by on Sat, 14 Jul 2007 00:00:00 GMT

Oh crap. I went LA.

Damn it. What is happening to me? I've only lived in this desert civilization for a year and a half and I've already gone LA. You may be saying. "Oh no, Fiona. Not you. Never that. You're such a City...
Posted by on Mon, 30 Apr 2007 22:08:00 GMT

to hell with it

I forgot about Lent again. It's already a week in and I just now realized I haven't given anything up, or even pretended to give something up and then totally cheated. I think there must be a double-s...
Posted by on Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:15:00 GMT

Is your valentine really that funny?

Oh February, we love you. We love that you're the shortest month, we love your potential for a leap, we love the day off work from all those dead Presidents, the groundhog's prediction and we love S...
Posted by on Mon, 12 Feb 2007 12:18:00 GMT

The smashed window is in the details.

Apparently I am not being specific enough with the universe. Allow me to explain... For some months now I have been secretly praying that my car would get stolen. It's not that I don't like...
Posted by on Sun, 14 Jan 2007 12:37:00 GMT

Mush Mouth

Confession: I am a big mush face. A big sac of weepy Terms of Endearment watching, mush. And I hate change. I hate it. I hate when people leave. I hate when people move. I miss places and things almos...
Posted by on Thu, 21 Dec 2006 22:20:00 GMT

Gluttony of every variety.

Holy mother of everything I am so stuffed. It's been days since Thanksgiving and still I'm stuffed. I may never be unstuffed again I'm so stuffed. I'm chalk full of food and booze and family and parti...
Posted by on Sun, 26 Nov 2006 23:28:00 GMT