About Me
It's not about anything- not one single thing anyway- it never is and it never can be, there's just too much going on to register it all but your brain just gets hooked on one thing and it analyses that thing, and then analyses the analysis and it repeats and repeats on a loop, or maybe everything just gets blurred in the process of trying to focus on it all, or maybe nothing sinks in but just drifts through you, your thoughts morphing all the time, unknowable pin pricks and pin holes which sting you and things slip through and then you add to this random memories and imagination and it's just way too hard to figure how to just breathe and be calm and still, 'cos there's images and information thrown at you from every crooked corner, and you find there's nothing to hold onto, no fixed point that you can mark and refer to as being definite, safe, because before you know it you find you knew nothing at all, and the moment's passed just as soon as you thought you had grasped something, so you got to step out and move away to find some clarity, but you get sidetracked and trapped, 'cos then there's living and hurling yourself at another night, somebody else's place, anywhere will do, whose round is it, and there's smiles and decent music, the sound surrounding you when everything you look upon just shines, and someone in the corner fancies you, but someone else wants to throttle you 'cos they just don't get the joke, or the way your face appears to be looking at them, but there's safety in numerology, or so it seems, and that's just the start of your problems, because there's no such thing as a new beginning so you still have to deal with all that other stuff, and there's people, human beings, just not understanding what it is you aren't able to explain to them, those words, those dear fallible words, yet we create whole identities and communities and powers with that which we can't understand or control, and that's about when the panic attacks, the unpleasant surprise, the rusty nail lightly scrapping your skin, the ghost haunting the birthday cake, but just be, if you can, if you find a way and try to find the confidence to carry on, and even if you don't know it, somebody, somewhere, loves you for it all... but only if you want to of course, no pressure or anything...
