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My name is “Booger” I have three legs. My mommy lets me do anything I want to because I only have three legs. Both my mommy and my daddy feel real sorry for me because I only have three legs. They think I sit like a little tripod because I have to, but I do it because I know they think it’s cute so maybe they’ll give me more bacon bits. I like human food, especially pork chops. I eat it really fast so I won’t have to share with my adopted sisters. One of them is really a-scared of me and I like to terrorize her any chance I can get. I chase her around and around the house. I like to watch her take off and I try to bite her tail. She’s such a poopy face. I like to chew on used dental floss. Do you know what that is? Me either, but they won’t let me swallow it like bacon. I like to sleep on the back of the couch and stare at my mommy and daddy. They stare at a box that has colors and moves and people’s voices come out of it. I don’t know what they do with it exactly, but it takes up a lot of their time so I just watch them watching it trying to figure out what’s wrong with them. Sometimes daddy gets real excited and yells at the box. Sometimes he gets something out of the kitchen called a “soft drink”. It looks soft, because it has little bubbles inside of it and I like to watch them move around, but they sting my nose, so looks are deceiving. While I’m on the back of the couch sometimes I like to chew on daddy’s hair, but he says things like ow ow ow ow and makes funny faces. I don’t know what the problem is because I wash and pull on my fur all the time and it doesn’t bother me at all. I try to hold his head still with my one front leg, but he still says ow ow ow. I don’t know where mommy and daddy go everyday all day. I think it must be the vet because that’s the only place out there to go to. That’s the only place I’ve ever been. I used to live there when they took my leg away. I’d rather have all my legs, but it hurt really bad. Then it felt a whole lot better after they did take my leg away so I guess it’s alright. And boy, you should see me run through the house. I am really fast! Anyway, the only thing is that they don’t smell like the vet’s office when they get home. On top of that mommy always goes into the kitchen and makes yummy smells whenever she comes home, but she won’t share with me while she’s in there. She always says the same thing, “Not now sweet girl, it’s too hot.” I don’t know what hot is, but I don’t get any of it until both mommy and daddy are eating it. No matter how much I turn in circles and make squeaky noises she won’t give me any if it’s too ‘hot’. I like it when they come home because mommy throws my nippy fishy toy for me to catch and tackle and daddy tells me how pretty I am and brushes me. They make everything really cozy and happy when they come home. The only bad thing about them being home is that they fuss at me when I chase Miss Poopy Face.