Johnny Ferretti

Here is somewhat of a bio: I am a native of California. I've lived in Colorado, Wisconsin, New York and Helsinki Finland.This is a (mostly humorous) look at my experiences so far: -I helmed the destroyer USS Coontz; -I was a reporter for the Wisconsin State Journal; -I rode the Blue Line with Rodney King; -I dined at the home of a Mafia boss; -I snowboarded above the Arctic Circle in Finland; -I lived in a 500-year-old castle in Italy; -I spent one Easter in Oconomowoc; -I saved someone’s life – from drowning in the Atlantic Ocean; -I shot and edited a documentary on anorexia; -I flight tested airplanes for Boeing; -I sailed the Baltic Sea; -I did a radio interview for a station in Guam; -I did stakeouts and surveillance for a private investigator; -I touched the Fiberglas life-sized cow on Nancy Cartwright’s front lawn; -I smuggled Rubles out of the Soviet Union… -I drove both of the only 2 Mercedes A150’s ever in the United States; -I had a yellow, 8-inch mohawk; -I went on tour with Hank Ballard (wrote and first recorded “The Twist”); -I had my own clothing label, sold around the world; -I was an engineer for Valtionrautatiet Koneosasto in Finland; -I worked as a ranch hand in Colorado; -I learned to SCUBA dive in Curacao; -I rode in Eazy-E’s BMW 850, with license plate “RUTHLES1”; -I was on the pit crew for a stock car racer; -I went to a tractor pull in rural Wisconsin; -I lifted off the deck of the aircraft carrier USS Saratoga, CV-60, in a helicopter; -I visited the Principality of Liechtenstein 3 times and the Principality of Monaco once; -I ate caviar on Red Square; -I met Former Secretary of State Warren Christopher; -I’ve been to jail in 2 different states… -I swam in the Moscow River; -I owned a skateboard shop; -I was an extra on “Babylon 5”; -I ran naked across a frozen lake in Finland – in December; -I’ve seen a real roadrunner; -I took off from the Oakland Airport…and landed…20 times in the space of 5 hours; -I earned a BS in Electrical Engineering and in Journalism from the University of Wisconsin; -I fixed a truck in Nakkila, Finland (“Sausageville” in Finnish); -I flew to Catalina Island for lunch. Twice; -I touched the Apollo 15 Command Module; -A member of the band Gwar hit me on the head with his guitar; -I ate reindeer meat in Arctic Finland; -I had a job driving a “stripper” to her “appointments”; -I drank tea on the train “Lev Tolstoi” in Russia; -I ate pig intestine in Taiwan… -While I was in the lavatory of an Experimental DC-10, the captain smartly executed a 35-degree bank, hoping I would lose my balance; -Barry Levinson kicked me off the set of the movie “Bandits”; -I swam naked in the Gulf of Bothnia; -I was on a 14-hour flight from Yuma, Arizona… to Yuma, Arizona; -I had my photo in a skateboard industry magazine with Tony Hawk and George Powell; -While working as a software developer for an internet company, the CIO told me I should be so busy I “don’t have time to pee.” and was almost fired for looking at the Warner Brothers website; -I’ve seen the Rock of Gibraltar, Old Faithful, Pikes Peak, The Grand Canyon, The Matterhorn, The Kremlin, The Golden Gate Bridge; Alaskan icebergs, The Statue of Liberty, The Eiffel Tower, The Orient Express and the bullfights in Seville.