Gigawhat |
I punched a hole in my wall and opened a portal to another dimension, damn it. Now all my shit's getting sucked out into space. Papers, coffee cups, cats... I'm standing on the computer to write th...
Posted by on Thu, 18 Dec 2008 10:16:00 GMT |
Farts in a Windstorm |
To be an on-set electric in the movie industry is to study excellence as an element unto itself, only loosely related to my art as a whole. Did I just say asshole? I meant badass motherfucker. To b...
Posted by on Thu, 30 Oct 2008 05:02:00 GMT |
No comment |
Eyes are windows to the soul, when you open them.I got gunk on my skreeb. Cant' seam to get it off. of. my computer screeb. srebe. Muscles.Biceps. Flex.Fuck you. I'll fucking throw this 18 K an...
Posted by on Sat, 18 Oct 2008 05:00:00 GMT |
Losing Ass |
I am the original emcee of the Cucalorus Film Festival. I’ve had my picture in Time Magazine. I am a rock star. I shall always be a rock star. I highly recommend remembering what you do for ...
Posted by on Fri, 14 Mar 2008 21:08:00 GMT |
Revert |
The metronome is a silon warrior. I don't know how you spell cilon. Sylon. The metronome is a sinister drone with one red eye that goes back and forth regardless. But it is the ground from which p...
Posted by on Tue, 22 Jan 2008 06:50:00 GMT |
Godll Fuck With Your Head |
Most of my prayers start, "That was really fucking funny, God."I met a man who spends his life sculpting metal, drinking 40's, and floating down the Mississippippi in a canoe. He said God has a sense...
Posted by on Tue, 04 Dec 2007 07:54:00 GMT |
Quackersville |
The direct box didn't work. I used a mic. Joe tweaked the monitor. Sounded good to me. Does a cockroach look up at the shoe I smashed him with and think, "Those are my guts."? I'd rather he refle...
Posted by on Mon, 08 Oct 2007 07:16:00 GMT |
Mucho |
The day after tomorrow I shall address what might be the biggest crowd I've ever faced. All I can think about is BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES!!! I should practice my timing BOOBIES! Oh shit. It's the h...
Posted by on Thu, 06 Sep 2007 22:25:00 GMT |
A Night Home |
Sarah's discussing wedding bands with some clients in her studio. I'm in the garage on the other side of a paper thin wall, squeezing the cat. I brought the silverware drawer in here and dumped it on...
Posted by on Tue, 04 Sep 2007 17:51:00 GMT |
Gnurls, as in Notches |
I'm head of a department within a department. An amoeba splitting. Cellular reproduction.I began as a pseudopod.I'm starting to think sex is a big deal. I've been starting to think that for three d...
Posted by on Tue, 21 Aug 2007 21:08:00 GMT |
