Richard - ProfilesArchive

About Me

My favorite pastime is kicking puppies. People say that I am in my best when I am wrapped in suranwrap and slathered with Penut butter. I have three nipples and I named them Bill, Joe, and Horatio. I have been known to fart the national anthem. The kazoo is my favorite musical instrument. I can listen to it play for hours on end. The magisty of the warbaling, buzzy sound fills the air with the sent of a summers eve. I had one big accomplishment in my life. I invented a machine that stops your bellybutton from collecting lent. The device is a paltry three hunderd pounds and you only have to carry it with you twenty-three hours a day. It opperates at a meager two hundred and fifty decibles, such a wisper you will not even notice it. Everyone is going to want one, I am going to be rich.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

My favorite people have boobs. Big, scarry, floppy, hangers are the best. You can use them as a bean bag chair. Just lay back on them relax with a beer, while you are watching the game. When you get tired of them you just put them up in the rafters in your garage, until next year. I also like the medium size ones. When the weather gets cold they make great face warmers. If you have boobs or know some one who does, please let me know. I find that my favorite people are deaf mutes. They don't make alot of noise. They never say, we need to talk. You can sit there and get your agression out by yelling at them. You can heard them up and milk them like cattle. They make excelent pets. You only have to clean their poop from the yard once a day. If they make an accident you just rub their face in it. The reason I realy like them, however if they could talk nobody would care about what they have to say anyway.

My Blog

How much Franks does it take to make hot wings?

Justus' new live in, that he has been seeing for almost one month, made a batch of chicken wings. When I looked for the brand new one litre bottle of Franks red hot I had just bought, it was all used ...
Posted by on Wed, 20 Aug 2008 21:48:00 GMT

Slappin yo mama

I'm slappin' yo' mama. Running in circles and jumpin' up and down I'm slappin' yo' mama Somewhere nowhere and everywhere around I'm slappin' yo' mama Speaking faster at a furious pace Acting stupidly ...
Posted by on Thu, 17 Jul 2008 08:46:00 GMT

SERIES 1957 b Silver Certificate

Today, while I was about to buy a soda from the vending machine. I noticet that my one dollar bill looked like a fake. I looked closer and found out that it is a one dollar demand note....
Posted by on Sun, 18 May 2008 20:40:00 GMT

I hate my job

I hate my job, it sucks to work a dangerious job 50+ hours a week. I barley even get paid for all that work either. I have been waiting for a good reason to quit, but it needs to be good. I never want...
Posted by on Mon, 14 Jan 2008 22:29:00 GMT

I don’t exist

I went to ask sombody to verify my existance, they could not!
Posted by on Mon, 27 Aug 2007 17:19:00 GMT

My Idear about the Ideal Idea

Idea: a thought or an understanding. My idea is to use ladders to get over that fence. Ideal: a perfect thing, place, thought or situation. My ideal way to spend my lottery winnings is ...
Posted by on Sun, 19 Aug 2007 21:42:00 GMT

Corkey the retarded catfish

I went fishing to day and caught the first retarded catfish I have ever seen. His head was as wide as his body was long. what little body he did have was folded into a "Z" shape, and his butthole was ...
Posted by on Mon, 16 Jul 2007 23:26:00 GMT

A world of shit

My cousin, Tommy, gave me a bottle of fart spray. Now I have my cousin, Justus, convinced that his cronic weed smells like a sespool backing up. Every time he lights up I spray the fart spr...
Posted by on Fri, 25 May 2007 21:55:00 GMT

The Horrible Henry Monster

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Posted by on Mon, 26 Feb 2007 08:40:00 GMT

Chase

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Posted by on Sun, 25 Feb 2007 00:06:00 GMT