DOVEY

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SOMETIMES I WISH I HAD NEVER MET HIM B/C THEN I COULD GO TO SLEEP AT NIGHT NOT KNOWING THERE IS SOMEONE LIKE HIM OUT THERE.

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I MOURN THE LOSS OF WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN

I mourn the loss of what could have been and what should have been and the realization that he will never be any different. It's quite shocking to realize you wasted 4 years of love and time and money on someone who never really cared about you because they can't.
It hurts! I hate it too. I'm still spending alot of time trying to understand and deal with the pain
When I read his emails they made me melt. He was articulate and funny, something I loved in a man. To make a long story short, for many months life was bliss. He was a gentleman, appeared to be responsible, kind and very generous. I wanted a responsible man, a man that did not lie, a man that can talk AND listen to a woman. I wanted a man that had a conscience, and REAL. Yes,a man who loved God,who enjoyed talking about God and the Bible.
I thought I saw this in him.
Then it started...
Eventually, I come to the painful realization that I was nothing more than an instrument of his self gratification, then I was as easily discarded as a piece of gum that's lost its flavor.
I was dealing with a totally delusional human being, who builds his own fantasies about his reality and believes his own pathological lies. How can I have possibly hoped to have a healthy relationship with someone who bases his whole existence on deceit? IMPOSSIBLE! And don't kid yourself - HE knows exactly what he is doing - He preys, victimizes, and devastates.
I spent 4 years with Kenny Gallant, believing we were building a good relationship. The first 3 years were wonderful, and yet it’s only today that it occurred to me that the first 3 years were NOT who he was; the rest of the time...(the year I spent getting ready to return to Canada)..WAS!
He became irritated, impatient,frustrated,picking fights & arguments for NO REASON. He loved twisting things I said around....blaming and accusing me. I remember how it felt the first time he told me to "GO TO HELL!"..(this from someone claiming to be "Christian").
As human beings, we cannot grasp evil so cold. We just cannot imagine this whole part of our life that was so important, was a big nothing. A big SICK LIE. Now that it's over, I have be forgotten like yesterdays TRASH.

I would say my biggest weakness is a heart that is too compassionate; and a high level of tolerance of nonsense.
Even now I find it difficult to fathom how I could have given so much of myself to a person and have him so totally wipe it all away as if it never happened with no remorse and go on his merry way leaving a path of destruction behind him.
I'm mourning the myth of what I thought was reality. I wanted it to go back to like when we first met. He was so charming,funny and complimentary---unlike any guy I ever met. He found me at a vulnerable time. But even in the midst of this charm, there was also this gut feeling that something was not right.
I remember telling him his face reminded me of someone or something. Maybe it was my inner 6th sense warning me from impending sorrow and an unbelievable heartbreak that for now, I don't think I will ever have the strength to recover from and live in peace... *sigh*



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Ironic how we can do so MANY GOOD things for someone, but it only takes ONE mistake or ONE wrong act done in anger to cause ALL the good things to be forgotten.

.. - Get Your OwnCHECKOUT MY SITE IN "PICZO" http://www.hypocrite77.piczo.com
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Kenny says: I COULD STAY AWAKE JUST TO HEAR YOU BREATHING, TO WATCH AND SMILE WHILE YOU ARE SLEEPING, WHILE YOU'RE SO FAR AWAY AND DREAMING, I COULD SPEND MY LIFE IN THIS SWEET SURENDER, I COULD STAY LOST IN THIS MOMENT FOREVER. Love U WITH ALL MY HEART
Kenny/Yarah XOXOXO


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When I think back on my relationship & time spent with this man, my emotions go from shock to confusion..from..sadness to anger..finally to total humiliation.
I was so unaware of how horrid this demon named "Deceit" actually is... until after..meeting Kenny who is totally possessed by it. He goes through his life as a huge masquerade party sucking in victims & leaving them scarred. He himself has no remorse because he is housing this demon named Deceit.
I'm brokenhearted because I thought he truly loved me. But, one day he took off his mask revealing who he truly is. A man full of Deceit.
I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken -- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.

glitter-graphics.com PEDESTAL
I'm under no illusion as to what I meant to him,Which of course was nothing but he made an impression in my life & sometimes I still feel the bruise.
He pushed me off the pedestal you See. Yes, a pedestal he so carefully Led me up by the hand. This bruise hurts from time to time.
As he led me up to the top of the pedestal, he spoke words of flattery, words of love. "If you love me show me please".
Affection I showed while fearfully being led by the hand higher up the pedestal. Requests he asked of me along the way. Yes, to prove how much I loved him. Little did I know these Requests would be the very things used against me.
Finally I was at the top of the pedestal he so carefully led me up by the hand. As I turned to say "I love you" Feeling secure, He pushed me off the pedestal he so carefully led me up by the hand. Shock & in despair I tried to break my fall.
I'm under no illusion as to what I meant to him. Which of course was nothing but he made an impression on my life & sometimes I still feel the bruise.
Now there is only silence. A quiet so loud & why would he think of me? when he was not the one in love? when he was not the dreamer? When he was just a dream.
Someone else is in my place being led by the hand up a pedestal. I wasn't the first & she will not be the last.

glitter-graphics.com The first time I saw his face, it felt like I had known him from someplace or time.

I think it was my heart trying to tell me that I was looking upon the face and eyes of the man who would one day not only break my heart, but humiliate me in a very cruel way.