Pirates Of Rock

Born in Birmingham, England in 1988, Alexander C. Hale III had one dream. Well, actually, he had several. One of the dreams had him exploding in sheer anger and turning into a rabid monkey on a school trip, lunging at his best friends face and clawing his skin off. Another had him driving a bus which also functioned as a boat. He had a dream the other night that made him laugh, but he can't remember it. He wishes he could though, because it would be great for writing about. Alex also had a lot of dreams about falling. Falling and dying. Falling, dying and the apocalypse. That and a lot of dreams about boobs. But that's completely irrelevant. Anyway, one day, Alex was sat reading the TV guide and he misread a programme title as "Edible Ghost". Upon closer inspection, it was probably something like "Bargain Hunt", but "Edible Ghost" sounded really cool, don't you think? It sounded the kind of thing he would name his band, if he had one. Then Alex realised something. He could start a fake band and call it "Edible Ghost" and feature it in his stories. So he did. It had lots of members, including Alex on the keyboards and drums, Calum on the bagpipes, Neil on the bass and Oggelsby on the french horn. That's very exciting, isn't it? Anyway, a while later, Alex was sat in Maths and he was singing (to the tune of "Johnny B. Goode") "Oh Oggie Rock!!! Oh Oggie Rock!!! Oggie Oggie Oggie Oggie Oggelsby Rock!!!" (because it annoyed Oggelsby) when he had an amazing idea and he wrote a song down with this chorus in less than three hours. The song proved immensely popular at Dartmouth High School, especially complimented by Alex's enthusiastic air guitar routine. Alex began learning piano. I should mention that he tried to learn drums, but the school burned down. Alex purchased a piano and had fun playing it. Now Alex writes a combination of funny and serious songs and has played shows in front of crowds reaching numbers as high as five (2 of who were listening)! Though at the moment his talent is limited, Alex is getting better every day, and he won't let his lack of musical ability hold him back, proclaiming "Fuck it. I'll get a computer to do everything for me, like Boybands do".