dj chris welch

Born and raised on the clean streets of Witney, West Oxfordshire i've been playing records for love and money since 7 years old (if you count charging yer bruv and his mates to come and listen to yer 7"s in yer bedroom). Since 1999 i've been based in Sheffield and been djing, promoting and mucking about with the Phonetics Crew playing alongside some of my favourite people in music!!!The next 17 paragraphs will deal with my dj CAREER, about how my dad went to school with Westwood and that...I will list in alphabetical order all the big names i've deejayed with and how whatever your into I was championing it way back in 93 but never got the recognition due to a conspiracy against bald people from West Oxon who cried when his rabbits died. R.I.P SHAMPY YOU BADDASSS...After that the next 4 paragraphs will look at my influence on the music scene (described by a local free newspaper as "measurable" and "difficult to gauge if looked at in terms of actual growth for the local and national economy") then will follow a sermon on how people don't appreciate good music and how the right kind of music has actually stopped wars on many occasion...Following swiftly on will be a diatribe about how myspace has given power back to the small man despite bein owned by murdoch. Nah not murdoch from the A Team. This will include an interactive discussion on whether or not in the future the music industry and music itself will cease to exist and we will all be able to jam in perfect harmony with Nina Simone in silence while staring at a laptop. The technology is there, just needs a bit of effort.Afterforth I shall submit my back catalogue for download in a special ankle-audio format. I've copyrighted that format so dont rob me. All my stuff will eventually be there for you to enjoy when puttin on ya socks. Including my underground hip hop banger "Swallowin Plax aint no teeth cleaning exercise"- described as a "Chomsky-esque exploration of the dangers of cutting corners in dental hygiene." Soon come for the download massiv will be my Tom Yum soup from a few weeks back- fresher than frrrresh...Then i'll have a few paras about my future plans. Next year I will be the first dj to play at the bottom of the ocean using fitted gills and new subaqua sound devices. Amphibious beats are so last year. Be droppin some seabed-bruk-jazzdance-soul-ragga-ragga-beatisms for the balkan rumba hop bass generation.Oh....run out of steam. Always do. This is due to having massive fingers and a tiny keypad. My finger condition emanating from an allergic reaction to watching Dino Zoff in goal in the 82 World cup (back then I was playing 4 hero in wine bars before they'd even been invented...so dont test). I don't regret nuffink. It was all planned. You can book me to dj, hoover up or check the best by dates of your canned soup collection by droppin me a line...jus dont expect me to do all 3 at once. Them days are gone. Nice.Right now, you can catch me at my weekly saturday night BRASILICA @ Cubanas taking up the reins from the LEGEND Mark Jones and my long-running latin weekly ADELANTE on tuesday nights and various other establishments. Every sunday at 5pm run yer bath and tune into SOUNDS LIKE THIS 93.2FM Sheffield Live - www.sheffieldlive.orgThe rest of it is in your hands.