Where to buy the V!
In Winnipeg: Kustom Kulture, Music Trader, Mondragon
Online: www.theragboutique.com, or send us a vmail at [email protected]
1234V - A Vajournal
1234V was borne out a poem written by Sarah Michaelson for Jo Snyder.
We work down the hall from each other and the novelty of leaving sneaky little notes
on the other person’s desk still hasn’t worn off. Sometimes we tape pumpkin scones to the door, sometimes we leave our coffee mugs in the washroom and the other will retrieve it and return it to the office. And sometimes, we (i.e. Sarah) will write poems on the white board hanging near other people’s desk (i.e. Jo’s desk). This vajournal was inspired by the following poem (make this known that this is the only poem you will ever read in this publication):
One Vagina,
Two Vagina,
Three Vagina,
Four!
And then she falsely attributed the poem to Jo Snyder like this:
- by Jo Snyder
Anyway, the poem was totally awesome until this cunt named James erased it off the board and ruined our days. So, as a tribute to the greatest poem ever written, ever, we bestow this vajournal upon your blessed eyes. You lucky bastards.
CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS
So, you wanna submit to our awesome zine? You don’t need a V to write about them, but there are a few guidelines if you would like to submit something to 1234V. First, each issue has a theme. The next issue explores the topic of Maintenance. Trimming, waxing, check-ups, douching, cosmetic surgery, perfumery, or any other attention that may be given to down there. Is your V high maintenance? Do you know a V that is?
We like funny shit. We want confessional anecdotes. Comics are good. Poems are bad, unless it’s haiku... or an exÂceptional limerick. Don’t write preachy shit, warm and fuzzy shit, or submit lecture notes from your Women’s Studies class from three years ago. Write like your belligerent self. Write the story as you would tell it if you were drunk in a bar with your friends and you’re telling them about how when you were getting ready for your super sweet date last week you put on your favourite pair of underwear and you noticed that you had a bunch of spider legs sticking out and you were a little pissed off because you just went to get that shit waxed and you opted for the landing strip instead of the Brazilian because you thought it was sexier but realized that now you have all of these short hairs sticking out of your crotch and were wanting to be all neat and tidy and then were hoping to have someone’s face down there later but you don’t want one of your stray legs poking out an eye, but a Brazilian is just too much goddamn work to keep up looking all smooth, but you change your mind last minute and in haste you do it yourself and turn your cooch into a in-grown mess and end up calling your date and say that your dog just threw up all over the carpet and you can’t make it, and then you masturbate yourself to sleep.
Don’t let shame prevent you from contributing.
Why do we want to know about this stuff? Because, vaginas are weird and hilarious creatures. They do things that can’t always be explained, and whether this makes us laugh, or think, or gasp, or pull back in disgust, we want to read about it. Seriously.
Submit your stories, comics, art, drawings, jokes, zine theme ideas, photos to: [email protected]
We, the editors, reserve the right to edit submissions for style and content. We also reserve the right to refuse any articles we find racist, homophobic, libelous, violent, mysoginist, poorly written, ill-conceived, lame, not funny when trying to be, or might not be a right fit for none of the above reasons or all of the above reasons.
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