|Juubear|Loki|Ki|Katii|Lindzi|Cookie|Jess|
Agathoraphobia:
The fear of being abandoned
I always have to keep remembering this is just myspace, and people don't read these things, i always have to say to myself stop spilling your heart out to the computer and just go get drunk. But no matter what i'll always sit here and spill my heart out. I have Three best friend Lindzi , Ki and Katii bear there fucking amazing and no ones like them at all , don't go try to find them cause there mine For the longest time i searched for that one things that fit me the most that one thing that just connected and really i've found it call me a nerd call me a faggot but i FUCKING love kingdom hearts, and for sure i know that someone must love me for making such a perfect character , such as namine. I such as her am a artist. Maybe not full time but i do draw alot , i'm seventeen unlike her being like around thirteen. But less of her because if your interested in namine you might wanna go find one of those pages that tell you all about her, i'm not way shape or form her. Feh i wish i was but then again im not. I'm 110 lbs , i live in longmont colorado , im pretty poor i pay for most of my stuff , i live with my sister and mother who i care about deeply but they always seem to be busy we're a great family i just know we all go our separate ways. People tell me im easy on the eyes i tell them you must be fucking blind, i find myself repulsive. Honestly and don't go try saying your not because unless your someone i love your opinion really doesn't matter. I have tenancy to freak the fuck out on people i love , worry , call to much , text them a billion fucking times, cry alot , get drunk over stupid things. I guess its just the way i show i care. I have a hard time saying no but im learning the hard way and building myself up, i've made big mistakes , i've lied , i've cheated, i've been human but im learning just because im human doesn't mean i need to make those mistakes. I want to prove to the world that just because were flawed doesn't mean we can't be beautiful. I show to much emotion , i play to much video games, im a zombie nerd , pokemon freak , kingdom hearts fan and fucking pig for any kind of japanese food , i speak japanese i sound like a twelve year old when i do. I'm sammi, and im the scene bitch you hate. I never get caught up in the moment to much , i think i have once or twice but im always worried im always scared , don't be surprised its hard to trust anyone in this lonely world, we all die and pass away like the turning of a page so whats the point of trusting something that soon will be gone. I'm artist, i'm moody and sometimes it's alot harder to be than you think. People say that were all alike because its funny theres only one person i know that even cuts being like me at all and that's my bro. I love cheesy love songs and bitchy hate songs , im pretty indie at heart but i cover it up with my hardcore skin. I dress different, im not a scene cardboard cut out copy. It pisses me off more than anything when people tell me that.I'm very complicated i have this side of me that expects and this side of me that hides and crys. I'm selfish and i don't just say that because i want more and more, I never stop wanting nothings good enough yet, im not fully grown up but im tired of being treated like a kid i have this intuition that tells me when things are going to go wrong and they usually do, i'm very aware. Sometimes i wish i was naive so i could just live one day in bliss instead of misery. I skip around thinking that people accept me and that im this great person , but honestly im probably one of the most horrifying people you'll ever meet and you know what? I don't care anymore , i care about what you think believe me , but i'm trying not to. I've come to realization that people are careless thoughtless, conceited bastards that need to die , that includes myself , you and everyone else. I've lost alot of faith in humanity. I've become numb to alot of things, i've crossed liars , cheaters , fakes , backstabbers, whores and above all of them myself. I'll always see myself as mistake. I never grew up with a father in my life. I've been called names from the start and probably will till the finish. I like to think that i know what love is but i'm pretty sure no one does. We all have our own opinions. I'm no saint. I'm not a preacher. I'm not your mother. I'm not your girlfriend. I'm not your play toy. I'm samantha rin emmett. and you probably don't matter.
